The Big Bang Theory Wiki

"The Workplace Proximity" is the fifth episode of the seventh season of the American sitcom The Big Bang Theory. This episode first aired on Thursday, October 17, 2013.


Amy starts working at Caltech on a neurological project near Sheldon, which unintentionally strains their relationship. Meanwhile, Bernadette gets mad at Howard after he makes an offensive comment about her and throws him out.

Extended Plot[]

The Workplace Proximity 04

Penny serving Shamy on date night.

Penny is filling up Sheldon and Amy's water glasses at the Cheesecake Factory. Assessing their situation she says, "Awkward silence. Sheldon on his phone. No touching. Somebody's having dating|date night." Amy replies that it is steamier than it looks since Sheldon is researching phallic symbols of root vegetables in Renaissance paintings. Actually Sheldon has changed his search to finding a new pair of cuticle scissors on Penny then asks Amy how she doesn't just tear off his clothes and take him right there on the Table (furniture)|table. Sheldon says that if Amy did that he would scream. After Penny leaves, Amy says that she has some exciting news. Sheldon interrupts with his exciting news. His cuticle scissors will be delivered in one to two business days, he's hoping for one day. Amy continues that she has been invited to consult at Caltech on an experiment for a few months. They could have lunch and carpool together. Sheldon has found riding with Leonard rather tedious lately because the only car game he wants to play is the quiet game. Sheldon adds that Leonard is terrible at it since Sheldon always wins. Amy wonders if Sheldon is agreeable with this arrangement since they will be in close proximity all day long. She cites the vulgar adage that one should not defecate where one eats. Sheldon notes that his father always said that and "Who does one have to orally gratify around here to get a alcohol|drink?". Sheldon doesn't know how that applies to their conversation. Amy explains that it means they should not have a romantic relationship in the workplace. Sheldon is surprised since he always took it literally and never used the restrooms in any restaurant he ate in. Amy is relieved that he has no problem with them working together. Sheldon replies that she was not as relived as he was about to be. Sheldon's says that "It's a brave new world, little lady," heading to the restroom.

Later in his apartment playing Mystic Warriors of Ka'a, Howard tells Sheldon that he's crazy to work with his girlfriend. Raj considers working together romantic since his parents met at work. What started as a pap smear, ended in a date with his father the gynecologist. Then she started working there, which turned into marriage followed by hatred that continues to this day. Howard again insists that it is not a good idea. Leonard thinks that it is good since Amy can put drops in Sheldon's eyes that next time he gets conjunctivitis. Leonard then plays "the giant baby" card which Sheldon corrects him as "The raging ogre". Leonard replies "I know," sarcastically. Howard describes how he wouldn't want to see Bernadette all day long and then have to hang out with her afterwards. Raj is not happy with this situation since they used to work together and then hang out together afterwards. Howard believes that is what drove him into the arms of "another woman". Sheldon is still not worried since the hours they spend together can be deducted from their weekly quota. Leonard begs to be there when Sheldon tells that to Amy.

The Workplace Proximity 14

The ladies discussing Amy's new job.

Over at Penny's place, Bernadette and Amy are discussing Amy's fear response experiment on monkeys to be performed at Caltech. Bernadette comments that if monkeys are anything like humans the results will be positive. She then denies that she has used the same enzyme on humans since it would be unethical. Penny surprises them both by telling them who invented the enzyme that she is using. She immediately adds that her phone is just as smart as they are. Sheldon then knocks on the door using all three of their names (Amy, Bernadette, Penny). Bernadette wonders if he is ever going to stop his knocking repetition. Amy hopes he doesn't because she plans on putting his love of repetition to good use in the future. Amy answers the door with Sheldon telling her that he doesn't think that them working together is a good idea. He says goodbye; however, Amy stops him. She says that she has signed a contract and cashed the check already. Penny says that she thought he was fine with her working there. Sheldon changed his mind after Howard told him how awful it would be to work with his significant other all day. Bernadette stands up screaming, "He said what??" Sheldon tells her to not worry about it since Howard thinks that too much of her would be "mind-numbingly tedious". Bernadette angrily marches off to have a Conversation|chat with her husband. Sheldon says that she should make it short because brevity is her friend. Amy does not agree with Sheldon and still plans on doing her Job (role)|job. Penny adds that he can't tell Amy what to do. Sheldon reminds her that she told Leonard not to wear his Wookiee jacket in public. She replies that she was not going to go to the shopping mall|mall with someone dressed as a dumb space bear. Amy then backs off and tells Sheldon that she won't bother him since she will be in a different building and that they won't even have to have lunch together. Before everything, she is a scientist and she'll just do her work and hopefully scare the living crap out of some monkeys. Sheldon thinks a moment and then asks if Amy's moth-like personality won't be drawn to the flame that is his face. As Penny is shaking her head, Amy assures him that she is more and more sure. Sheldon then gives her his permission which Amy did not ask for. Sheldon adds that it's too late because of no "backsies". Amy closes the door looking cross.

The Workplace Proximity 05

You can't work there.

Over in the other apartment, Howard is trying to explain his previous insensitive comments. First, he tells Bernadette that Sheldon misunderstood that he thinks that there would be too much of him for her. Sheldon then again "helps" by saying to Howard that he shouldn't lie to his wife while blaming him for a misunderstanding (stating that would be an obvious dead giveaway). Then Howard reluctantly admits that if they worked together and lived together, they might get sick of each other. Sheldon then adds that he just said that he would get sick of her. Bernadette then wants to know what exactly he would get sick of. Raj leans over to Leonard and says that Howard's only two options are to fake a heart attack or have a real one. Bernadette asks if it's her voice or is she too bossy? Howard says that his arm is getting numb. Leonard comments on how Raj "nailed that". She points out that he's holding the wrong arm for a heart attack. Howard switches arms and tells her that he has quirks that would drive her crazy if she had to deal with him all day long. Bernadette mentions him looking her in the eye and lying to her as one of them. She angrily walks out, telling him to find someplace else to sleep tonight. All Sheldon can say is that if it makes him feel any better, he and Amy are just fine.

Sheldon joining Amy's table

Sheldon joining Amy and her colleagues at their table.

Sheldon frightened

Sheldon equally frightened by Amy's images.

The next day at lunch in the cafeteria, Leonard asks if Raj and Howard spent the night jumping up and down on the bed singing into some hair brushes. Raj corrects him that it was just a couple of bros hanging out, eating cookie dough, and watching "The Princess Bride". Howard tells Sheldon that none of this situation would have happened if he hadn't tried to help him. Sheldon counters that it also would not have happened if there was even a slightly greater or lesser percentage of hydrogen in the early universe. Sheldon thinks this is fun and tells Howard it's his turn. Amy walks by with her tray saying "Gentlemen". Leonard wonders if everything is fine and Sheldon replies that as Howard pointed out, she is just respecting their professional boundaries. Leonard points out that Howard spent the night with Raj. Sheldon looked over at Amy thinking that she really wanted to be at the cool table, while she appears to be enjoying her colleagues' company. Then "the flame" decides to go over to the moth. Amy introduces her colleagues including a scientist from Sweden, Dr. Gunderson. Sheldon mentions that he is from the home of his favorite Muppet and second favorite meatball. Sheldon then says that he is demonstrating the lack of Nordic countries|Nordic humor as he calls him Dr. "No Fun"-derson. Amy asks where he is going with this line of conversation, "Dr. Cooper". "I'm you're boyfriend. Call me Sheldon." Sheldon sits down at their table telling them that he is in a boy/girl relationship with this "cute little lump of wool" which includes hugs and holding hands. Amy then kicks his shinbone underneath the table which Sheldon thinks is a new part of their relationship. He then kicks her in the shin asks if she likes it. 

In Amy's new laboratory at Caltech, she is showing images to a monkey to gauge her emotional reaction, the first one being a Frenchman on a bicycle carrying baguettes. After no reaction to a sousaphone, she shows her a crocodile with a mouth full of monkeys. Now she looks scared. Sheldon comes calling her Dr. Fowler, says that he is now done with work. He is then scared by the crocodile video. Amy goes back to the Frenchman's picture to calm down Sheldon. She describes her baseline fear study which Sheldon calls goofing off. He is ready to go home, but Leonard is still busy. Amy says that she's still very busy and wants to know why she should do him any favors after how he treated her at lunch. The next image is a boa constrictor. Both the monkey and Sheldon shake their heads noticeably disgusted. Sheldon thought that his behavior was delightful and Dr. Gunderson needs to assemble a sense of humor at IKEA. Amy says that he embarrassed her in front of her colleagues on her first day of work. The next image is a cat|kitty in a teacup. Both Sheldon and the monkey smile and tilt their heads to the right. Amy tells him to find another way home. Sheldon thinks that she is mad at him based upon her body language and tone of voice. Finally Amy just tells him to leave. The next image is a human giving birth, to which they both cover their eyes, stick out their tongue and Sheldon says "bleagh".

At the apartment, Penny and Leonard are under a blanket together watching television. Leonard mentions how late Sheldon is getting home. He fell asleep on the bus and ended up in little Sri Lanka. He finds them to be lovely people except for when you wake up face to face with them. He brought home some mutton and coconut milk, which he hates, during a misunderstanding while asking for directions. Leonard figured that Amy was going to bring him home. Sheldon says that Amy is acting very strangely. Sheldon explained his situation to one of the Sri Lankans and they thought that a tiger recently crossed Amy's shadow. Sheldon hypothesizes that he may have been drumming up business for his brother-in-law, a witch doctor. Penny asks him what happened. Sheldon replies that Amy thinks that he embarrassed her. Penny agrees that he did without hearing the details. Leonard adds that he has known him a long time and that with all the love he can muster, Amy is right and he is wrong. Leonard refuses to hear Sheldon's side which Penny does ask about. As Sheldon starts, "Well.." Penny shakes her head and sides with Amy on this one. Sheldon leaves in a huff.

The Workplace Proximity 12

Pull! Shoot! Banzai!

Raj and Howard are having food and playing Arkham Origins. Howard finds the food too spicy. Raj offers him a Tums. Howard asks if Raj has the tropical fruit kind, but he doesn't because he eats them like candy. Someone knocks and Howard answers it, it's Bernadette. They quietly say hello and Bernie says that she may have overreacted. Howard admits that he may not have handled it well either. Bernadette says that sometimes it feels like he spends more time with his friends than he does with her. Howard denies it. Bernie counters that they work all day together, then spend time at night, go to the comic book store, and he and Raj even got a couple's massage together last week. When he had said that he didn't want to spend that much time with Bernadette, it really hurt her feelings. Howard really feels bad and he says that tomorrow he is turning over a new leaf and that she is now his number one priority. "Why tomorrow?" she asks. He wants to finish the new Batman video game they are playing. Bernadette turns around and leaves. Raj tells him to follow her which Bernadette yells back that he shouldn't. Howard then sardonically thanks Raj for getting him into trouble.

The Workplace Proximity 03

Sheldon apologizing to Amy late at night.

Sheldon goes over to Amy's Apartment to apologize very late at night. He can't sleep because of what happened between them. He also had a very long bus nap and offers Amy some mutton and coconut milk. She doesn't want it and he complains that he can't give it away. Amy asks him what he wants. Sheldon explains that it's not easy to say. He says that all relationships are difficult though especially with one who has trouble with everyday social interactions and that strikes some people as being kind of a weirdo. Amy replies lovingly that Sheldon is not a weirdo. Sheldon comes back that he wasn't talking about himself. He says that there's no telling what will set her off; introducing himself as her boyfriend; letting her drive him home; breaking the ice with her colleagues using ethnic humor (the funniest kind of humor). Amy wants him to come to his point. Sheldon tells her that he likes her quirks and all. Amy replies "I like you, too." Sheldon then says that he hopes she does because he doesn't see anyone else banging on her door to put up with her nonsense. Amy slams the door in his face. Sheldon complains through the door that she didn't even say goodbye and that that is why people think that she's weird. Leaving he calls her a poor kid and that she just doesn't see it.

Finally, both Bernadette and Amy are at the Cheesecake Factory bar with Penny tending the bar. Bernadette says that she is not apologizing to Howard and then he can come beg her on his knees. Amy adds "Sheldon, too," and that she is going to ignore Sheldon at work. Penny tells them not to worry because Leonard is going to sit them down, and set them straight. Instead, the guys are in apartment 4A playing skeet shooting with balloons and a laser. "Pull! Yeah!!"



  • Jesse Schedeen of IGN:..."The Workplace Proximity" put the season back on track. Between the fact that it dealt head-on with the simmering tension between Amy and Sheldon and that it offered a number of memorable barbs, this was one of the better episodes in recent memory...The balance between the two relationship crises worked well. Usually you have two or three subplots vying for space in any given week, with at least one inevitably getting the short shrift. But the Amy/Sheldon and Wolowitz/Bernadette conflicts played off of each other nicely...It was the rare episode that seemed to fire on all cylinders." [1]
  • Dhruv Rao of The DR Club gave the episode a B, stating that "Howard's apology brought out a beautiful moment, which was ruined by TBBT's need for comedy to be shoved down everyone's throat." [2]
  • IMDb user reviews


  • Title Reference: The title refers to Amy working near Sheldon at Caltech.
  • Taping date: September 24, 2013.
  • Chuck Lorre's vanity card.
  • This episode was watched by 17.8 million people with a rating of 5.2 (adults 18–49).
  • Total viewers including DVR users 22.90 million.
  • The Big Bang Theory was ranked #3 for the week ending October 20, 2013.
  • This episode aired in Canada on October 17, 2013, with 3.473 million viewers with a weekly ranking of #1.
  • In the United Kingdom, this episode aired on November 28, 2013, with 2.38 million viewers and a weekly ranking of #1.
  • Episode transcript [3]

Costume Notes[]

  • Sheldon wears his red Flash athletic jersey, his blue Penrose Triangles shirt from Heavy Rotatio], his melting rubik's cube t-shirt], and his purple Philips/Stooble test pattern shirt. 


  • Despite having a very strict bathroom schedule, Sheldon goes to the restroom at The Cheesecake Factory after learning the meaning of "one should not defecate where one eats".
  • Amy begins to work at Caltech.
  • Sheldon mentions that his favorite Muppet is the Swedish Chef though in the movie "The Muppets", Jim Parsons plays the human version of a muppet.
  • Amy hasn't worked with Sheldon since he worked in her lab in "The Vacation Solution" (S5E6). She technically only works near him at Caltech. After living together, they work more together eventually winning the Nobel Prize.

Sheldon continues to display an inability to learn what is appropriate and inappropriate humor-wise, as well as insensitivity to racial and ethnic issues.

  • When Howard and Bernadette are fighting, the Apartment 4A flag is upside down.
  • Amy's monkey and Sheldon both have the same reactions to the images Amy is showing the monkey to generate an emotional response. Amy does notice Sheldon's reactions. 
  • Sheldon's hating of lamb (as food) is mentioned again in this episode. Previously it was shown in "The Agreement Dissection" (S4E21).
  • Sheldon has to take the bus to go to home again. Previously he had to take the bus in "The Bus Pants Utilization" (S4E12) and "The Friendship Contraction" (S5E15).
  • Mrs. Koothrappali was a patient of her husband as well as a co-worker. As both are health care employees, another reason is supplied for them to enjoy Doogie Howser reruns.
  • Sheldon willingly shakes hands with one of Amy's colleagues, which contradicts his opposition to hand shaking seen in previous episodes (in "The Benefactor Factor" [S4E15] as a typical example); however, this could be more proof that Amy has changed him.
  • Amy's old lab is not seen again in the series. 
  • The guys' Mystic Warlords of Ka'a cards played (and declared) in this episode include "Hairy Fairy" (fairies are usually portrayed as attractive young women, therefore a hairy fairy is somewhat odd), "Two-Eyed Cyclops" (a cyclops has, by definition, only one eye (usually in the center of the forehead) -- that is the meaning of the word "cyclops"), "Raging Ogre" (mis-declared by Leonard as "Giant Baby" as a jab at Sheldon), and "Bi-Polar Bear" (the name would indicate that the bear has bipolar personality disorder (formerly known as manic-depressive disorder), and is also a pun on "polar bear"; another possibility is that it is a polar bear which is bisexual (colloquially "bi")). 
  • Sheldon may have ended up getting Amy a Nobel prize by proving high similarities to stimulus reactions, even though it was Sheldon who really wanted to get a Nobel prize. 
  • Amy's colleague Dr. Gunderson has the same name as one of Leonard's neighbors, Mrs. Gunderson.
  • The scene where Leonard and Penny attempt to make Sheldon aware of his responsibility to repair his relationship with Amy has considerable parallels to one in Roseanne (S05E21 - Playing With Matches), although on that occasion Johnny Galecki's character, David, was on the receiving end of the advice.
  • Raj mentions that he and Howard watched "The Princess Bride" and when Howard asks him to shut up responds, "As you wish." In the movie this is the hero's code phrase for "I love you" to the heroine.


(The scene of Howard at Raj's apartment)
Howard: Ooh, shrimp was spicy.
Raj: You want a TUMS?
Howard: You got the tropical fruit kind?
Raj: No, if I buy those, I just go through them like candy.
Howard: Tell me about it. One time, I swear I pooped out a stick of chalk. (Knock on door) I’ll get it.
Raj: Thanks.
(Howard opens the door and in comes a still-unhappy Bernadette)
Bernadette: (sadly) Hi.
Howard: Oh, hi.
Bernadette: I may have overreacted.
Howard: Well, yeah, well, I didn't handle it so great either.
Bernadette: (she speaks to him crossly) Just sometimes I feel like you enjoy spending time with your friends more than with me.
Howard: That’s not true.
Bernadette: (she really is very cross by this) It’s not? You spend all day together at work and then you all hang out at night playing games, going to the comic book store. Last week you two got a couple’s massage.
(Howard thinks for a second and Raj nods his head grumpily whilst concentrating on the game)
Bernadette: (she's even more cross) When you said you wouldn't want to spend that much time with me, it really hurt my feelings.
Howard: Oh wow, yeah, I get that. I’m so sorry. Starting tomorrow I am turning over a new leaf. Being with you is my number one priority.
(They kiss each other for second and Bernadette frowns at him for one last second)
Bernadette: (she asks Howard crossly for the final time) Why tomorrow?
Howard: Well, we’re real close to finishing off the new Batman game.
Raj: (muttering) It is awesome.
(Bernadette now leaves the doorway of Raj's apartment angrily without saying a word)
Raj: Uh, you should probably go after her.
Howard: (calls for her) Should I go after you?
Bernadette: (Yelling angrily off-screen and out of sight) No!
Howard: (snaps angrily at Raj) Thanks for getting me in trouble.
(Raj looks puzzled at the way Howard yelled at him).

(The scene of Sheldon at the door of Amy's apartment)
Sheldon: (Knock..knock..knock). Amy. (Knock..knock..knock). Amy. (Knock..knock..knock). Amy.
(a wide-awake Amy opens the door grumpily)
Amy: (she's asking Sheldon crossly) Sheldon, what are you doing here so late?
Sheldon: I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about what happened earlier between us. Also I had one heck of a bus nap. Oh speaking of which. Do you want some mutton and coconut milk?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Boy, I cannot give this stuff away.
Amy: What do you want?
Sheldon: Amy, this isn't easy to say. All relationships are difficult, but even more so when you’re in one with a person who struggles with everyday social interactions and frankly who can strike some people as being kind of a weirdo.
Amy: Sheldon, you’re not a weirdo.
Sheldon: I wasn't speaking about me. I mean honestly, there’s no telling what will set you off. You know, introducing myself as your boyfriend. Giving you the opportunity to drive me home. Breaking the ice with your colleagues using ethnic humor, your funniest kind of humor.
Amy: What’s your point?
Sheldon: My point is we’re a couple and I like you for who you are quirks and all.
Amy: I like you too.
Sheldon: I should hope so. I don’t see anyone else banging on this door willing to put up with your nonsense.
(Amy slams the door in his face).
Sheldon: Not even a goodbye. You see, that’s the kind of thing that makes people think you’re weird. Poor kid, she just doesn't see it.

(The scene of the ladies at Penny's apartment where they are all drinking glasses of wine together. Bernadette has just finished pouring hers).
Bernadette: So, Amy, what are you gonna be working on at Caltech?
Amy: I’m leading a study to see if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme leads to paralyzing fear in monkeys.
Bernadette: If they’re anything like humans, the answer’s yes.
Amy: Wait, you’ve, you’ve done this experiment on humans?
Bernadette: You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose? No, that would be unethical.
Penny: You know, not a lot of people know this, but the monoamine oxidase enzyme was discovered by a woman, Mary Bernheim.
(Bernadette and Amy look at Penny in surprise)
Penny: That’s right, my phone is just as smart as you guys.
(We now hear Sheldon's voice in the background)
Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Amy, Bernadette, Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Amy, Bernadette, Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Amy, Bernadette, Penny.
Bernadette: He’s not going to stop doing that, is he?
Amy: I don’t mind. I’m hoping to put his love of repetition to good use some day.
(Bernadette and Penny look disgusted at each other. Sheldon stands in the doorway)
Sheldon: Hi. Um, I’ve reconsidered. Uh, you can’t work where I work. Enjoy the rest of your evening.
Amy: Sheldon. I already signed the contract. I cashed a cheque.
Sheldon: Mmm, you are not going to come out of this looking good.
Penny: Sheldon, I don’t understand. I thought you said you were fine with it.
Sheldon: Well, I was. That was before Howard explained to me how awful it would be if he had to work with his significant other.
(Bernadette gets up from the couch and slams her glass of wine down onto the table)
Bernadette: (she's gasping crossly) He said what?!
Sheldon: Oh don’t be insulted. He just thinks too much of you would be mind-numbingly tedious.
Bernadette: (she now storms off to Apartment 4A in fury) Excuse me, I need to have a chat with my husband.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, now, well, keep it short. From what I gather, brevity is your friend.
(He makes a 'tut' when he sees that Bernadette has ignored him)
Sheldon: (He now returns to face Amy) So, are we good here?
Amy: (cross with Sheldon) No, we’re not good here. I am working on this project.
Penny: (she's cross with Sheldon too) Yeah, and you can’t tell her what she can and cannot do.
Sheldon: Last week, you told Leonard he couldn’t wear his Wookie jacket out in public.
Penny: That’s different. I’m not going to the mall with someone dressed like a dumb space bear.
(Amy is now very firm with Sheldon)
Amy: Sheldon, you don’t have to worry about me bothering you. I’ll be in a different building. And we don’t even have to have lunch together.
Sheldon: Really?
Amy: Yes. Before all things, I’m a scientist. I’m just there to do my work and, with a little luck, scare the living crap out of some monkeys.
Sheldon: Hmm. (he thinks for a second) You sure your mothlike personality won’t be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself?
Amy: More and more sure.
Sheldon: Well, then, you have my permission.
Amy: I didn’t ask for your permission.
Sheldon: Too late. No backsies.
(Amy now slams the door just as Sheldon enters Apartment 4A. no slam of the door is heard).
Howard: (he is shouting at his very cross wife) No, no, listen to me. Sheldon misunderstood. What I meant was, if we worked together, there’d be too much of me for you, not the other way around.
Sheldon: Howard, if you’re going to lie to your wife, don’t start the sentence with Sheldon misunderstood. That’s a dead giveaway.
Bernadette: (she's asking Howard a 1st question crossly) Well?
Howard: Okay, fine. I did say that, and I think it’s true. I think if we worked together and lived together, we’d get sick of each other.
Sheldon: Yeah, but to be fair, he only said the part about him getting sick of you.
Howard: (He's yelling at Sheldon) For the love of God, why?
(Sheldon nervously walks away from Howard and Bernadette's argument)
Bernadette: (she's asking Howard a 2nd question crossly) What exactly do you think you’d get sick of?
Raj: His only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one.
Howard: (stammers) It’s nothing in particular. I…
Bernadette: (she's asking Howard a 3rd question crossly) Is it my voice? Am I too bossy? What?
(Scene of Howard rubbing his right arm)
Howard: My arm is feeling numb.
(Scene of Bernadette looking at Howard's arm crossly and Pan to the scene of Leonard and Raj on the couch)
Leonard: (he talks sarcastically to Raj) Nailed it.
(Raj just nods his head)
Bernadette: (she's still completely angry) That’s the wrong arm for a heart attack, doofus.
Howard: (switches to his left arm) My point is, I’m sure there are things about me that would drive you crazy if you had to deal with them all day long.
Bernadette: (she's asking Howard a 4th question crossly) Like looking me in the eye and lying to me?
(Bernadette now marches off in a huff whilst Howard still rows at her)
Howard: Oh, well, come on, where am I supposed to look when I lie to you?
(Bernadette gets to the door and looks at her husband for one last second)
Bernadette: (she yells at him with complete anger for the final time) Find somewhere else to sleep tonight!
Howard: Bernie…
(Bernadette has now slammed the door in Howard's face and she's now gone off in a huff).
Sheldon: If it makes you feel any better, Amy and I are fine.
(Howard looks puzzled and silent)
Sheldon: I mean, really good.

Amy: And this is Dr. Gunderson from Stockholm.
Sheldon: Aw, Sweden. Home of my favorite Muppet and second favorite meatball. OK. The Nordic reputation for a lack of humor is well founded. Wait. Is his name Gunderson or No-Funderson?
Amy: Where are we going with this, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: Oh, please. I’m your boyfriend. Call me Sheldon. That’s right. I’m in a boy-girl relationship with this cute little lump of wool.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: It is a physical relationship too. Hand holding; hugging; even on hot days. Ow! Here’s an new one. Apparently now we kick each other in the shin under the table. How do you like it when I do it to you? Not so much, huh?

(The scene in Amy's lab where Amy is working with a monkey)
Amy: Test subject D7, aka Betsy, fear response study. Image number one, Frenchman on bicycle carrying baguettes.
(She taps the keyboard and looks at the monkey a few seconds. a tiny muted squeak from the monkey is heard)
Amy: No visible reaction. Image number two, sousaphone.
(She taps the keyboard again, the monkey looks up for a second,
Amy': Still no reaction. Okay. Let’s kick things up a notch. Image number three, crocodile with a mouthful of monkeys.
(The monkey squeaks loudly and backs away for a couple of seconds)
Amy: Okay, now we’re talking.
(we now see Sheldon entering the lab)
Sheldon: Dr. Fowler?
(We now hear a quiet sigh from Amy)
Amy: (asking him crossly) What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Well, I’m done with work, so… ugh!
Amy: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, uh, better?
Sheldon: Oh, baguettes. Yes, I like baguettes. What exactly are you doing?
Amy: (sighs and speaks to him grumpily) Determining baseline fear levels in capuchin monkeys by measuring their response to visual stimuli.
Sheldon: So, goofing off. (Amy shakes her head slowly) As I was saying, I’m done with work and Leonard’s not. So good news, you get to take me home. Play your cards right, I’ll let you drive me past the lot where the buses park at night.
Amy: (informs him crossly) I can’t leave now, Sheldon. I’m very busy. Besides, why would I want to do you a favour after the way you treated me in the cafeteria? Image number four, boa constrictor.
(The monkey and Sheldon do 'Ugh' expressions at the same time. Amy looks confused at the way both the monkey and Sheldon are acting. Sheldon then asks Amy a question)
Sheldon: What on earth are you talking about? My behavior in the cafeteria was delightful. Maybe your friend Gunderson needs to head over to IKEA and assemble a sense of humour.
Amy: (She is now really cross with him) You embarrassed me in front of my colleagues on my first day here. (Sheldon gazes) Image number five, kitten in a teacup.
(The monkey and Sheldon both turn their heads down at the computer screen)
Sheldon: Aw. Embarrassed you?
Amy: (getting even more cross) You know what? I don’t have time for this. Find another way home.
Sheldon: I’m starting to get the sense that you’re angry with me.
Amy: Really? What tipped you off?
Sheldon: Couple things, actually. Your tone of voice, your body language…
Amy: (orders him angrily) Get out.
Sheldon: Well, now, that.
Amy: Image number six, woman giving birth.
(Sheldon cover his eyes and the monkey covers his head)
Sheldon: Bleugh!
(Amy takes a final glare at the way they are acting)

(The first ending scene at the bar of the Cheesecake Factory to which Bernadette and Amy are still very cross at their significant other's attitude whilst Penny is sorting out some coasters on the counter).
Bernadette: (she's still very cross with Howard) I’m not apologizing to Howard. He can come begging on his knees.
Amy: (she's still very cross with Sheldon) Sheldon too. If I see him at work. I’m just going to ignore him.
Penny: (gives them a very good advice) All right, don’t worry. I talked to Leonard. He is gonna sit the guys down and set them straight.
(The second ending scene of the men with safety goggles, blue balloons and laser equipment in their apartment)
Leonard: (at the laser sound machine) Laser’s warmed up.
Howard: Pull.
(Howard fires his laser gun at the first blue balloon which suddenly pops instantly)
All 4 Guys: Yeah!

Penny: Awkward silence. Sheldon on his phone. No touching. Somebody’s having date night.
Amy: It’s actually steamier than it looks. Sheldon’s looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables in Renaissance paintings.
Sheldon: Oh, no, I got bored with that. I’m just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon.
Penny: How do you not tear off his clothes and take him right here on this table?
Sheldon: If you do that, I’ll scream.
Amy: Sheldon, I have some exciting news to tell you.
Sheldon: That makes two of us. My new cuticle scissors will be here in one to two business days. Come on, one.
Amy: I’ve been invited to consult on an experiment at your university for a few months. Isn’t that great? We could have lunch together. We could carpool.
Sheldon: You know, riding with Leonard has gotten a little tedious lately. The only car game he ever wants to play is the Quiet Game. And he’s terrible at it, I always win.
Amy: So, you’re okay with this?
Sheldon: Well, why wouldn’t I be?
Amy: Well, this project would have us working in close proximity to one another. And there’s the vulgar adage that one should not defecate where one eats.
Sheldon: My father used to say that all the time. That and, um, who does one have to orally gratify to get a drink around here? But what does that have to do with you working at the university?
Amy: Sheldon, don’t defecate where you eat means don’t have a romantic relationship in the workplace.
Sheldon: Really?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Huh. Yeah, I always took it literally. That’s why I have never once moved my bowels in this or any restaurant. Hmm.
Amy: I’m relieved that you don’t have a problem with us working together.
Sheldon: Not as relieved as I’m about to be. It’s a brave new world, little lady.




7 7