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The Bachelor Party Corrosion is the third episode of the ninth season of the American sitcom The Big Bang Theory. The episode aired on Monday, October 5, 2015.


The girls throw Penny a "mini-bachelorette" party. Penny calls her Dad about getting married and Amy calls her mother about breaking up with Sheldon. The guys take Leonard to Mexico for a bachelor party weekend and can't change their tire when they end up getting a flat.

Extended Plot[]

Fun Fact

Fun fact about mustard

While Sheldon and Leonard are fixing lunch in Apartment 4A, Leonard offers up a fun fact about mustard although Sheldon already knows about its component that can be used to ward off caterpillars (Sheldon still states the fact was fun). Raj and Howard enter as they are supposed to go see a movie. Instead, since they had not been able to throw Leonard a bachelor party due to him eloping, they are going to kidnap him and take him to an unknown destination to celebrate. Sheldon complains that their kidnapping is missing a blindfold, Duct tape and a ransom call. After hearing that, Leonard is ready to leave immediately. Penny already packed his bag AND Sheldon is coming too. He asks how they are going to make him come, so they kidnap him; rope and blindfold included.

On the way to Mexico.

Headed to Mexico in Richard Feynman's van

Driving down the Interstate highway, Sheldon is again complaining about being taken against his will into a hippie's mobile sex dungeon. Howard hints that there is something very special about this minivan. Sheldon asks if it runs on syphilis. The van they are using once belonged to Richard Feynman, one of Sheldon's favorite physicists. Both Sheldon and Leonard get excited. Howard suggests about all the cute grad students he picked up with the van. Sheldon is sure that they all talked physics together. Leonard asks where they are going. Raj hints that they have spicy food and you can get diarrhea there. First guess, India. Second guess, Raj's apartment. According to Howard they are heading to Meh-i-co. Sheldon tells Leonard not be fooled. He is from Texas and Meh-i-co is Spanish for Mexico. Raj wonders what problems he has with where they're going. Mariachi bands, wild dogs and Mexican jumping bean|beans with little worms in them that jump around. Howard tells him to settle down. The theme of the trip is to go to Mexico in Richard Feynman's van to stay in the house that Richard Feynman's house bought with the money he was given for his Nobel Prize. "Viva la Imodium", shouts Sheldon.

Finemans vacation home

Viva la Imodium!!

In apartment 4B, Bernadette is trying to get Penny to go to a strip club since the boys are off on a bachelor weekend. Penny quips that if she wants to see a naked man dancing, all she has to do is flush the toilet while Leonard is in the shower. Amy joins them, the posse still lives, bringing some cookies for the mini-bachelorette party. The cookies are shaped like penises with gummy worms for veins, circumcised and uncircumcised. As they boys are getting ready to cross the border, Bernadette hopes the guys don't get too wild and crazy. Penny tells the world to watch their daughters or Sheldon may spend the night explaining NAFTA to them which did happen to Amy.


Anatomically correct!

Sheldon finds out the limits that US Customs have on returning with DVDs, CDs and VHS tapes. There could be some VHS tapes leftover in a van that old. Especially Jane Fonda work out tapes. Also Sheldon wonders if everyone has their yellow fever shots. He got one just to go to EPCOT.

The girls discussed married life with Penny who has a husband who has not yet moved out of his apartment. He does sleep there at night; however, it is only time before Sheldon has a nightmare and finds the pile of pillows in Leonard's bed. Bernadette asks Amy about her single life. She claims to be focusing on herself and is considering a wardrobe change.

Amy Ears Pirced

Amy gets her ears pierced.

The girls get excited; however, she decided to not change herself just because of a man. Penny tells her that it's not uncommon for a woman to get a makeover after a breakup. Amy is considering maybe changing one thing. Your glasses. Your sweater. Your hair. Your shoes. No, she wants her ears pierced. She never got it done because her mother thought that it was for whores, pirates and genies. Also had a clause in their Relationship Agreement forbidding cosmetic surgery unless it's to look like a Klingon. Amy wants to get it done elsewhere, but Penny can do it with a needle and an ice cube. Amy is not sure. Penny begs her that she will be gentle and to let her take her ear virginity. Bernadette thinks that the party is getting real weird. 

On their way to Mexico, Sheldon tells Howard to watch his speed since they have it in for Tourism|tourists. Howard dismisses it saying that if they get caught, they'll put Raj behind the steering wheel in a Sombrero. Raj asks him how many races he can insult in a single breath. He never watched the Olympics with Howard. Leonard compares that it's like riding around in the Batmobile if Batman was a physicist. They all hope that Feynman's mojo will rub off on them inspiring them to greatness. Sheldon doesn't believe in a lot of magical charms; however, sitting in Feynman's butt print does get his creative juices flowing. Suddenly they get a flat tire and Sheldon is worried that they are being shot at by bandits and may end up in a Mexican factory making Bart Simpson pinatas. Sheldon then again says that he is getting too old for this crud.


One tough lug nut!

Their van has a flat tire and Howard is trying to fix it. He learned that skill so that he could change the tires of damsels in distress (Meet women). Sheldon is trying to find and stay away from scorpions. There's your damsel. Howard can't get the last lug nut off. Raj wonders if he is turning it the right way and tries it himself. It doesn't turn the opposite way.

While Penny finishes up with Amy's ears, Bernadette notes that Amy hasn't changed her Facebook status. Amy agrees that she should let her Facebook friends know that. She tells Penny that she is no longer in a relationship with Sheldon. Penny hasn't yet changed hers since she hasn't yet told her parents that she is married. Her father wanted a father/daughter dance at her wedding. He didn't get to do it at her sister's wedding because her water broke when they started. Penny figures her Dad isn't getting any younger so she'll just wait until he get remember things she'll tell him that it was magical. 

As Amy admires her pierced ears, she remarks that if her mother saw her now she would lock her in "The Sin Closet". Penny could see how they were not real close. Bernadette adds that at least she would have told her if she had gotten married. Amy adds that Penny's parents would like to know since they love Leonard. Penny agrees to call them. They both think that Amy has told her mother about Sheldon, but also she hasn't. Penny gets annoyed that Amy insists she call home and told her family that she broke up with Sheldon. She calls her Dad and tells him that she married Leonard last week on the spur of the moment and is sorry that she didn't tell him. He is glad that she is happy. He understands that it is hard to tell someone something that you think is going to upset them. Penny calls him the best Dad ever. He replies for her to hold that thought. Her father accidentally ran over her pet pig Moondance with the tractor's new rototiller ten to twelve months ago; while he didn't kill the pig, the vet took care of that. And he didn't tell Penny for a whole year? He notes that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Bernadette tells Amy that now it's her turn.


Lug nut, you have met your match!

All the guys are pushing on the lug trying to turn it. Raj is doing LaMaze breathing to help push. Howard figures that he is pushing with his uterus. Leonard just considers this a physics problem. Sheldon quotes Archimedes where if he had a long enough lever, he could move the world. As the guys think about materials to build one, Sheldon says first they must decide to pronounce it lee-ver or leh-ver. Sheldon insists that its lee-ver since they are not going to rolls up their "sl-eh-ves". Leonard says they're going to be there "foree-ver".

Penny sarcastically reprimands the girls for making her make the call because previously, in her mind, her pet pig was alive and rolling around in the mud. Now it's illegally buried in the backyard next to her great-grandmother. Bernie wonders why they didn't eat him. Moondance was a beloved member of her family. Now it's Amy's turn. Amy says to do it later because she is depressed about Penny's pig. And a little hungry. First Amy fakes trying to dial and then she gets her mother, but makes stalling with small talk, Penny grabs the phone and tells her Mom about Sheldon, the ear piercing and the "penis cookies." Penny then hands back the phone because her mother wants to talk to her.

Still working on the lug nut, Howard is hanging from a lever made out of a stop sign and pole. Then they muse about Star Trek phasers, Superman's heat vision, Green Lantern's ring and The Incredible Hulk, who might not get across the border with his temper. Leonard tells them that even though having Avengers (comics)|the Avengers help them it a viable idea; they are scientists and should be able to use real science. Percussive shock, they keep hammering at the lug with the rhythm inspiring them to sing "We Will Rock You". Sheldon gets excited and breaks into a tenor doing the refrain. The curse of his eidetic memory. Thermal expansion, they try and heat up the lug with a tortilla chip. Sheldon is afraid the cooking chip would attract animals. Accelerated corrosion, using burning salsa and two electrodes, he hopes to corrode it off. Sheldon considers his idea innovative and doesn't feel he gives his M.I.T. education enough credit. Howard saw it on "MythBusters". Exothermic Reaction, using rust and aluminum they make some thermite to melt it off. Howard says that the lug nut put up a good fight, but "met its match" as he lights the match. Next, they are standing next to the van in glorious flames. Raj notes that the lug nut is finally off.


Comparing weekends.

Finally a filthy Sheldon and Leonard and coming up the staircase they meet Penny going down with their laundry. Leonard mentions that they had a flat and couldn't get it off. Penny mentions that she pierced Amy's ears and her mother had Amy sit in Penny's closet. Sheldon told her that they blew up the van. Penny's pig was killed by her father's tractor. Leonard says that he had to spend the weekend in Mexico with Sheldon. Penny tells Leonard that he wins.



  • Title Reference: The title refers to the bachelor(ette) parties that corrode and go down hill and the corrosion method applied to the tire lug nut.
  • Taping date: August 25, 2015
  • This episode was watched by 15.40 million people with a rating of 3.9 (adults 18–49).
  • Total viewers including DVR users 20.87 million.
  • The Big Bang Theory was ranked #4 for the week ending October 3, 2015.
  • This episode aired in Canada on October 5, 2015.
  • In the United Kingdom, this episode aired on Thursday November 5, 2015 on the E4 channel.
  • Chuck Lorre's vanity card [1]
  • Episode transcript [2]


  • Jesse Schedeen at IGN - (I)t was a welcome change of pace to have a new installment that featured all the main cast equally and strove to be more silly than dramatic...It was amusing to see how quickly Sheldon morphed from biting, flailing kidnap victim to excited bachelor when he learned whose butt made the imprint he was now sitting in. The episode settled into a solid groove from there...The faux-educational approach as they demonstrated one scientific principle after another was a neat touch...Back home, the girls featured...a nice little scene where actor Keith Carradine reprises his role as Penny's father, Wyatt, for the first time in about five years. In a fun little twist, rather than being distraught that he missed his daughter's big day, he was pleased that this faux pas bought him a free pass for accidentally killing Penny's pet pig Moondance...(and) Amy also received some much-needed attention as she made her first baby steps toward moving on from her relationship with Sheldon. It was funny to see just how enthusiastic Penny and Bernie were about the thought of Amy finally getting a makeover, and then visibly crushed when Amy settled for getting her ears pierced. [3]
  • IMDb user reviews [4]


  • First appearance of Wyatt since "The Boyfriend Complexity" (S4E9), a span of 114 episodes.
  • Following Kaley Cuoco's divorce from Ryan Sweeting in 2015, her name in the original credits was reverted to its original billing in this episode.
  • Similar to "The Focus Attenuation" (S8E5) of which Penny is the only one of the women to share any scenes with any of the guys to which she only shared one scene with Leonard and Sheldon in the apartment hallway at the ending scene of this episode.
  • Penny expresses her concerns about Leonard not telling Sheldon about moving in with her, which would serve as a semi-major plot in the next isode.
  • Richard Feynman's van was actually used for the episode and was unharmed (CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #503). Although the van outfitter took some artistic liberty with the Feynman diagrams—changing the angles at which the straight-line electrons and wavy-line photons are shown, in order to fit them onto the panels—they are, for the most part, correct. Of particular note is the diagram on the rear of the van: although it has the same shape as the diagram used in the play "QED" (which shows two electrons exchanging a photon), this diagram shows two muon neutrinos exchanging a particle that Feynman could only conjecture at the time. Years later, such a particle was proven to exist, and called a Z boson.
    • A copy of the van was constructed for some of the exterior shots after the flat tire, so that there would not be any risk of damage to the actual van. This copy was then set aflame for the final shot, which had to be done in a single take.
    • The recipe shown for thermite is not accurate, in keeping with the standard television practice of not displaying the actual methods for creating dangerous materials.
  • Amy's mother used to lock her in "The Sin Closet" when she was bad sounding like Carrie's mother. She does not appear in this episode because Annie O'Donnell (who plays Mrs. Fowler) was not available to have an appearance in this episode since "The Desperation Emanation" (S4E5). Kathy Bates finally plays her mother during the Shamy wedding.
  • Amy hasn't seemed to still close the door on her and Sheldon yet (didn't change her Facebook status to "single").
  • It is the second trip the boys had taken and ended up returning in another vehicle. The first one was in "The Bakersfield Expedition" episode (S6E13) when Leonard's car was stolen. 
  • Howard tells Sheldon not to make a mess in the van because he has to return it, but he ends up setting it on fire by accident.
  • Second one-sided phone call to one of the girls' mothers (Amy to her mom). On the "The Status Quo Combustion" (S7E24) Penny calls her mother to tell her that she is engaged. On this episode, she talks to her father.
  • Second time any of Penny's home or life in Nebraska is shown. Wyatt is in the living room of the family house. The first time was in "The Staircase Implementation" (S3E22) where Penny was shown as a high school girl in her old bedroom.
  • Even though the scientific principles are valid, the guys didn't have the materials to perform them or the amount of reaction needed to melt steel, etc.
  • Two of the guys (Sheldon and Leonard) share no scenes with Bernadette and Amy in this episode.
  • Raj and Howard share no scenes with all three girls (Penny, Amy, and Bernadette) in this episode.
  • Moondance, the name of Penny's pet pig, might have been inspired by the Van Morrison album released in 1970. The title track Moondance is a mellow romantic ballad set to a big band rhythm.
  • Porcine trivia: pigs commercially bred for food seldom live past physical maturity at around 7–10 months. but a pig kept for other reasons, say as a pet, might, with care, shelter and regular veterinarian attention, live to 19–20 years. The world record for a pet pig who 'isn't' run over by a tractor and rototiller currently stands at 21 year 7 months. Therefore, it is not impossible this could have been Penny's childhood pet - hence her reaction. Nebraska is a major pork-producing state in the USA. A single pig barn on one farm might hold 6,200 animals. Moondance was a lucky pig indeed, despite his sad end.
  • To see what a tractor-mounted rototiller looks like, go [Cultivator here
  • For all the science, the boys needed tuition in basic motor mechanics to figure out why they couldn't get the last nut off the wheel. If you watch closely, you will see Howard had neglected to use a jack to lever the wheel up off the road and to take the weight of the van. (Refer to pictures 15-20 in Photo Gallery, below). no wonder it wouldn't budge: the weight of the van was acting downwards through the axle and locking the nut in place. If they'd been able to lift it by a few inches, it would have come away cleanly. Conversely, additional weight might have sheared the bolt, as one nut was doing the job of five or six and taking a weight beyond its loading stress - again, something the engineer Howard should have realized. But there is a gulf between university level engineering and practical everyday motor mechanics....
  • It seems that Penny's mother has already met Leonard off-screen because while Penny, Bernadette and Amy are discussing Penny waiting to tell her parents she got married to Leonard, Amy says "Well, it's kind of sad that they don't know. I mean, they love Leonard." referring to Penny's parents.


  • Penny appears offended when Bernadette asks whether her family ate their pig Moondance; however, Penny previously mentioned in "The Proton Transmogrification" that her family had a pet pig when she was younger and they ate it when it died, so Bernadette's line of thinking is not wrong.
  • Amy claims that she's never had her ears pierced, though she is clearly seen wearing earrings in "The Prom Equivalency"; however, it's possible they could've been clip-ons.
  • While aluminum and iron oxide can be combined to make one form of thermite, a simple match does not burn hot enough to ignite it.


Sheldon: (carried, tied up and blindfolded) Unhand me! This is ridiculous!
Howard: (crossly) I told you to put tape on his mouth!
Raj: (also cross) And I told you he bit me!

[The highway scene of Sheldon complaining in the Richard Feynman van]
Sheldon: It's bad enough that I'm being taken here against my will. I don't see why it has to be in some hippie's mobile sex dungeon.

Howard: We are going to Meh-he-co!
Leonard: Fun, I've never been there!
Sheldon: Leonard, don't be fooled! I'm from Texas-- Meh-he-co is Spanish for Mexico.
Raj: What’s wrong with Mexico?
Sheldon: Uh, mariachi bands, wild dogs, beans that jump around 'cause there's a worm inside.
Howard: Okay, calm down. There's a theme to this weekend. We are going to Mexico in Feynman's van to stay at the vacation house Feynman bought with the money from his Nobel Prize.
Sheldon: Viva la Imodium! Ay-ay-ay!

Bernadette: Come on. Leonard's doing bachelor stuff. You sure we can't take you to a strip club?
Penny: Nah, if I want to see a naked man dancing, I just flush the toilet while Leonard's in the shower.
Amy: Hi.
Penny: Hey.
Amy: I know we're not making a fuss, but in the spirit of bachelorette parties, I made cookies in the shape of male genitals.
Penny: You really didn't have to... Whoa! That is anatomic.
Amy: Thank you. The veins are gummy worms.
Bernadette: Oh, look, Jewish and gentile.
Amy: I had extra dough.
Penny: Oh, that's Leonard. He said they're about to cross the border.
Bernadette: I hope the boys don't get too crazy in Mexico.
Penny: Oh, yeah, right. Lock up your daughters or Sheldon might lecture them about the North American Free Trade Agreement.
Amy: Boy, that was a long night for me.

Amy: So, Penny, how's married life?
Penny: Oh, it's good. I just wish Leonard would work up the courage to tell Sheldon he's moving in here.
Bernadette: (rather puzzled) You guys still aren't living together?
Penny: We are. I mean, he sleeps here. But it's only a matter of time before Sheldon has a bad dream and tries to climb into bed with the Leonard-shaped pile of pillows.
Bernadette: (turns to Amy) Speaking of Sheldon. How is single life treating you?
Amy: Fine, I guess. I've been focusing on me. I was thinking about changing my wardrobe.
Penny: Yes!
Bernadette: Good for you!
Amy: But then I decided I didn't want to change who I am just because of some man.
Penny: Yes.
Bernadette: Good for you.
Penny: You know, it is normal to change your look after a breakup.
Amy: Actually, I was thinking of making one small change.
Bernadette: Your sweater. Your glasses.
Penny: Your hair. Your shoes.
Amy: Piercing my ears.
Penny: Oh.
Bernadette: You really never had that done?
Amy: My mom said pierced ears were for whores, pirates and genies.
Penny: Okay, well, you're a grown woman now.
Amy: I know, but Sheldon had this clause in the Relationship Agreement forbidding cosmetic surgery unless it's to look like a Klingon.
Bernadette: We'll take you to the mall to get it done.
Penny: Why? I can do it right here.
Amy: Really? You have a piercing gun?
Penny: No. All you need is a needle and an ice cube. I've done it, like, a dozen times.
Amy: Oh, I don't know.
Penny: Oh, come on. I'll be gentle. Let me take your ear virginity.
Bernadette: (miserably confused) This party's weird.

(The 'SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLE: PERCUSSIVE SHOCK' scene of Leonard hitting the tire's hub-cap of the Richard Feynman van with a metal crowbar for a few seconds, Raj stamps his foot and claps his hands for four seconds as part of making the beat to Queen's "We Will Rock You" to which Howard now sings a verse with 'percussive shock you' instead of 'rock you')
Howard: (singing) We will, We will, percussive shock you.
(the beat continues as Leonard, Raj and Howard sing together)
Leonard, Howard and Raj: (singing together) We will, We will percussive shock you.
Sheldon: (singing falsetto) Buddy you're a boy. Make a big noise. Playin' in the street. Gonna be a big man someday. You got mud on your face, you big disgrace. Kickin' your can all over the place.
(Raj, Howard and Leonard look at Sheldon in a shock of reaction)
Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. Sometimes it's a curse.

(The 'SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLE: THERMAL EXPANSION' scene of which Raj is setting a little flame to tortilla chip)
Raj: I had no idea tortilla chips were such a good fuel source.
Leonard: They're basically pure hydrocarbons soaked in fat. Let's hope the lug nut expands.
Sheldon: What if that burning food attracts animals?
Howard: We have plenty of food for the animals.
Sheldon: We do?
Howard: Yep. A six-foot wiener in a Flash T-shirt.
Sheldon: That's not very nice.
Leonard: It's a bachelor party. Lighten up.

Sheldon: What is that awful smell?
Howard: It's burning salsa. I'm hoping the acidity and salinity combined with electricity will corrode the lug nut off.
Sheldon: What an innovative solution. Perhaps I don't give your MIT education enough credit.
Howard: Yeah, I saw it on Mythbusters.

(The 'SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLE: EXOTHERMIC REACTION' scene of the men and the Richard Feynman van at night starting off with the sound of Sheldon scraping the last bits metal onto the plate. He now walks up)
Sheldon: All right, this rust, combined with the aluminum recovered from the van, is now thermite.
Howard: Couple of pinches ought to do the trick.
Raj: Is that enough to melt the lug nut?
Leonard: Well, let's start small. We can always add more,
Howard: You put up a good fight lug nut, but you've met your "match". (Howard giggles after he has lit up his match)
(Here is a scene of The Feynman van now in flames. Pan to Leonard, Howard, Sheldon and Raj looking extremely worried)
Raj: Hey, look! The lug nut's off.

(The scene in Penny's apartment where Amy is on her phone to her mother)
Amy: Hi, Mom.
Penny: Try dialing.
Amy: You saw that, huh? Hi, Mom. How are you doing? Oh, good. How's work? That's nice. I'm fine. Hey, listen, I've been meaning to ask, how come Aunt Doe and Aunt Florence never got along?
Penny: Okay, just... give me that. (Takes the phone of Amy's hand and shouts at her mother.) Amy broke up with Sheldon, she got her ears pierced and she made us eat penis cookies! Hang on. (To Amy.) She wants to talk to you.

(The scene of Penny talking to her dad on her phone whilst standing up in front of the table in her apartment)
Penny: Hey, Daddy.
Wyatt: Hey, Slugger. How's my girl?
Penny: Um, good. Is Mom around?
Wyatt: Ah, she took your brother celebrating. He just got his tenth one-month sober chip. Yea, she's going to make him a little necklace.
Penny: Okay, I'll talk to her later. Uh, Dad. There's something I need to tell you. Leonard and I got married.
Wyatt: You did? When?
Penny: Last week, I'm sorry, I should have told you. It was a spur of the moment thing. I feel terrible. Please don't be too disappointed.
Wyatt: Are you happy?
Penny: Very. Leonard is so great.
Wyatt: Well, then I'm happy for you.
Penny: Aw, thank you, Daddy. That means so much.
Wyatt: Well, I understand it's hard to tell someone if you think it's gonna to upset'em.
Penny: It is. You're the best Dad ever.
Wyatt: Yeah, uh. Hold that thought. I've been sitting on a little news myself.
Penny: Well, what is it?
Wyatt: You know that rototiller I got for my tractor?
Penny: No.
Wyatt: Oh, you should see it. It's a beautiful piece of machinery. Anyway, uh... I backed over your pet pig with it.
Penny: Moondance?
Wyatt: Yeah, uh. He won't be dancing anymore.
Penny: You killed my pig?
Wyatt: I did not kill him. The vet took care of that.
Penny: When?
Wyatt: Oh. Ten, twelve months ago.
Penny: (shocked) You didn't tell me for a year?
Wyatt: Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? I love ya, slugger. Gotta go.
Bernadette: Okay, Amy, your turn.

Howard: Hey, I have to return this van. Keep your creative juices in your pants.
(bang and hiss)
Sheldon: What was that?
Howard: I think it's a tire.
Sheldon: What if it's banditos shooting at us? What if we get kidnapped? What if we end up in a factory making Bart Simpson piñatas for the rest of our lives?!
Howard: It's the tire.
Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I am getting too old for this crud.

Leonard: There's got to be something else we can try.
Raj: If this was Star Trek, we could use a phaser to blast it off.
Howard: No it's too broad of a beam. We need something more precise, like Superman's heat vision.
Sheldon: Oh. The Green Lantern's ring and make a big green hand that unscrews it.
Raj: If you need a green hand, why not just use the Hulk?
Sheldon: Oh please, the Hulk would never get across the border with that temper.
Leonard: Guys, excuse me. Not that calling one of the Avengers is a perfectly reasonable choice. We're scientists. Don't you think we can figure this out using actual science?

Bernadette: Amy, I noticed your status still says "in a relationship" on Facebook.
Amy: You're right. I should probably let all of my Facebook friends know. Penny, I'm no longer in a relationship.
Bernadette: Did you change yours to "married" yet?
Penny: Uh, no, not yet. There's still a few people I haven't told personally.
Amy: Who?
Penny: Oh, just my parents and my entire family. (clears throat)
Bernadette: What?
Amy: Why?
Penny: Well, I don't want to hurt my dad. You know, he always wanted to dance with his daughter at her wedding.
Bernadette: What about your sister's wedding?
Penny: They started to, then her water broke. You know, if he finds out we eloped, it's gonna break his heart.
Amy: How long do you think you can keep it from him?
Bernadette: Yeah, isn't it gonna get worse the longer you wait?
Penny: Well, not necessarily. You know, Dad's not getting any younger, so if I wait long enough, I'll just tell him he walked me down the aisle and it was magical.

Penny: There you go. You're all done!
Amy: That wasn't so bad. (inhales delightedly) Nice. Boy, if my mom could see me now, she'd lock me in the sin closet.
Bernadette: That's a joke, right?
Amy: Actually, the joke was on her. I could still see the TV through the slats.
Penny: I'm starting to see why you and your mom aren't very close.
Bernadette: Bet she'd still tell her if she got married.
Penny: You're not gonna let this go, are you?
Amy: Well, it's kind of sad that they don't know. I mean, they love Leonard.
Penny: Fine, you want me to call? I'll call. (exhales) Why am I so nervous?
Bernadette: It's understandable. Amy was afraid to tell her mom she broke up with Sheldon.
Penny: Yeah? How did it go? Did she make you crawl into the breaking-up drawer?
Amy: Uh, well, actually, to be honest... I-I haven't told her yet.
Penny: (she is now cross with Amy) You've been giving me a hard time and you haven't even told your mom about Sheldon?
Amy: I'm feeling a little dizzy from all the blood loss. I don't know what you're talking about.
Penny: Fine. I'm calling home, but when I'm done, you're calling your mother.
Amy: Easy for you to say. You never had to watch 60 Minutes like this.

Penny: Thanks a lot, guys.
Bernadette: (asks Penny crossly) What did we do?
Penny: (sits back in the armchair) Before I made that call, my pig was alive and happy and rolling around in the mud. Now he's illegally buried in our backyard next to my great-grandmother.
Bernadette: Really? They didn't eat him?
Penny: (angrily shocked) No. He was a beloved member of the family.
Bernadette: The breakfast meat family?
(Bernadette and Amy give smiles that make it look like they're laughing)
Penny: (angrily) It's not funny. (To Amy) You're up. Call your mother.
Amy: Oh, maybe later. Your pig dying made me sad. And a little hungry.
Penny: Phone, now.
Amy: Okay. Okay. Fine.