Professor Proton

{{Character


 * character name = Professor Proton


 * image = Bob5.jpg|200px


 * gender = Male


 * first = The Proton Resurgence


 * occ = TV Science Guy/Children's Party Entertainer


 * number = 1


 * actor = Bob Newhart

Sheldon discovers that Professor Proton, the {{w|Mr. Wizard}} of his youth, is alive and available to perform at children's {{w|birthday parties}}. Sheldon wants to hire him so he can do {{w|experiments}} for them, hang out with them and maybe even take twelve photos with him. Sheldon emails him as Leonard and Sheldon sing his theme song. "Grab your {{w|goggles}}, put your lab coat on. Here he comes, Professor Proton."

At the Caltech cafeteria, Sheldon comes running in the announce that Professor Proton will be coming to their place. Howard wonders how Sheldon got him to come. Sheldon then quotes Professor Proton, "There is no problem you can't solved if you use your noggin."

Sheldon is staring out the peephole because Professor Proton is late. Penny tells him to relax since he was only a few minutes late. Sheldon counters that when he was on television he was never late unless {{w|tornadoes}} were tearing apart east {{w|Texas}} which meant that they would join his show "already in progress". Professor Proton calls Sheldon to say that he is stuck on the third floor building landing having to walk up three flights of stairs taking half an hour to do so. All three of them find Professor Proton sitting on his suitcase with Sheldon exclaiming, "It's really you!" Leonard apologizes that they should have told him about the broken elevator. Exhausted, the Professor agrees. Sheldon tells him that it is an honor to meet him. The Professor says to just call him Arthur. Sheldon is thrilled that it means that they are now {{w|friends}}. Arthur remarks that a friend would have told him abut the elevator. Sheldon then gets as close to him as he wants without his mother telling him that it is going to ruin his eyes. Arthur asks Leonard whether Sheldon is dangerous. Leonard replies that he is a genius, which doesn't answer the Professor's question. Leonard introduces himself and Penny whom the Professor obviously likes. Arthur apologizes that he hopes he hasn't kept the kids waiting too long, but he is confused when he learns that there is no children's birthday party. As they climb the final stairs, he tells that since the blonde girl is really his girlfriend that Leonard is the true genius.

Professor Proton is having {{w|tea}} while Sheldon is staring at him. Penny asks him if he does a lot of this, while Arthur is still trying to figure out what "this" is. Leonard tells him that they just wanted to hang out with him and learn about his life. Arthur explains that after his show ended, birthday parties were the only work he could get. None of his fellow {{w|scientists}} would take him seriously. Working with kids he gets bit a lot. He then asks if he has it straight, that they are two {{w|physicists}} who want him to do a children's science show for them. Sheldon agrees and adds that if he has time they'll take twelve pictures together in seasonal clothing for his calendar. Arthur tells them that he is a really scientist with a PhD from {{w|Cornell University}}. Sheldon then asks if he brought his puppet. The Professor hated that puppet, though Sheldon got a "Gino the Neutrino" puppet off of {{w|eBay}}. Arthur turns to Penny and asks if he is awake and if all of this is happening.

Back in Apartment 4A, Arthur is doing an experiment where he puts on an{{w| egg}} on top of a {{w|flask}} with a {{w|candle}} burring in it and asks what is going to happen as the {{w|air pressure}} decreases. Penny thinks she knows, however, Sheldon interrupts her telling him the the egg will be sucked in. Penny then admits that she doesn't know. The egg then falls into the flask. Penny tell him that she isn't a scientist like the others which Arthur had already figured out. Sheldon then wants him to do the {{w|potato}} {{w|clock}} where he powers the clock using the potato as a {{w|battery}}. Penny is impressed and says that that could solve the world's {{w|energy crisis which Arthur says no to her. The Professor then tells him to keep their money because he is done. Sheldon tells him that if Penny has upset her, he can tell her to go away. Arthur comments that she is the only reason she has stayed as long as he has which pleases Penny. Arthur tells them that he is tired of being Professor Proton whom Sheldon tells him is "the best".

Arthur tells them that he is an 83 year old man with potatoes in his suitcase, other scientists think he is a {{w|joke}} and his puppeteer slept with his wife. Sheldon goes off to get something while Penny asked how the potato clock worked. (Is it a trick clock or a trick potato?) He then asks Leonard what the two of them talk about. Sheldon has an {{w|autograph}}ed picture of Professor Proton from when he was a kid and asks him if he remembers sending it to him. Arthur replies that he has a {{w|bracelet}} on his arm with his address on it. Sheldon explains that he didn't have any friends growing up and everyday at 4 PM Professor Proton would come to his house and they would do science experiments together. Otherwise Sheldon might have ended up as a {{w|hobo}} or a {{w|surgeon}}. Leonard adds that science in making advances everyday because you inspired kids to become scientists and all these {{w|discoveries}} are in part his work too. Arthur tells them that it means a lot to him and they agree that he means a a lot to them. Arthur then sits down thinking that he is having a problem with is {{w|pacemaker}}. Penny asks if they can plug it into the potato.

Later, Arthur is now strapped to a {{w|gurney}} under the care of two {{w|paramedics}}. His vitals are stable, however he is being taken to the {{w|hospital}} for some tests. Sheldon volunteers to ride with him to the hospital in the {{w|ambulance}}, Arthur asks if he has to be a relative, which is not true and that thrills him. Arthur says that he can't catch a break today. Penny tells him that they'll back up his stuff and meet him at the hospital. Leonard apologizes that everything turned out this way to which Arthur replies that he is just glad to be carried down the stairs. Sheldon tells Leonard and Penny that he got to meet his childhood hero and ride in an ambulance. If they get to make the calendar, then this will be his best day ever.

At the hospital, Sheldon sings him "Soft Kitty". Arthur thanks him and tells him that the fourth time is the charm. Sheldon asks him he he can get him some {{w|apple juice}} or {{w|jello}}. He declines, but does ask him for a favor. Arthur tells Sheldon that he is not feeling up to doing his act scheduled for the next day, so he asks Sheldon to be Professor Proton. Sheldon considers that an honor like ascending {{w|Mt. Olympus}} to dine with the {{w|gods}}. Realizing that they will know he is not the real Professor Proton, Sheldon asks Arthur if it is alright with him if he goes by Professor Proton Jr. Arthur agrees. Sheldon then tells him that it's like being his {{w|son}}. "Whatever," Arthur replies. Sheldon hugs Professor Proton and calls him {{w|father}}. "What the hell," is Arthur's nonchalant reply.