The Parking Spot Escalation

"The Parking Spot Escalation" is the ninth episode of the sixth season of the sitcom The Big Bang Theory. This episode first aired on November 29, 2012.

Summary
Howard buys a new car that is assigned the that was once Sheldon's, but was not being used since Sheldon doesn't have a car. Since Howard is in "his spot" a war escalates between them and also affects their girlfriends.

Extended plot
While having lunch in the CalTech cafeteria, Raj insists that s and s are the same thing. Sheldon joins in the argument at Leonard's request and explains that a zombie bite will turn one into a zombie, while a mummy bite will only turn the victim into "some schmoe with a mummy bite". Howard enters, announcing that he has taken delivery of his new car and that it will have that as long as he keeps his mother out of it. He adds that if they want to check it out, it's parked out front in space 294. Sheldon insists that that is his parking spot even though he doesn't have a car and doesn't drive. To Sheldon, the parking space is perfect since it is a corner spot reducing the possibility of door dings in half, its 28 spaces from the front entrance, it has a tree to shade it from the sun on hot days, and a "delightful squirrel" lives in the tree. Leonard points out that the university probably reassigned since he wasn't using it. Howard refuses to move his car so Sheldon tries to push Howard's parked car out of the space unsuccessfully. Sheldon again disturbs university president Siebert at home about Howard being assigned his parking place. President Siebert points out that Howard is an asset to Caltech since he is an astronaut that worked on the.

Sheldon asks Leonard why he is his best friend, but he never takes his side. Leonard exclaims that he can never understand Sheldon's side. Howard enters Sheldon's office demanding his special edition  helmet back, however, Sheldon tells him that since he isn't using it, like the parking space, he took it since those are the rules they are now living by. Howard then takes Sheldon's diploma off the wall. Sheldon yells at him that it's the only he'll ever get.

Penny, Bernadette, and Amy are walking up the stairs returning from a with Amy having had her first. Not only is Amy walking , she requires much more work. First, the girls talk about how silly the feud was. Amy can't understand Sheldon because he wouldn't take off that "stupid robot mask". Howard was so angry that Bernadette mixed up  in his ice cream to get him to fall asleep. Amy then describes Howard's trip into space as his little moment in the sun. Bernadette follows with maybe Sheldon can get another parking spot if he ever makes a worthwhile contribution to science. Penny tries to change the subject as the insults escalate. Bernadette says that she is sensing some hostility from Amy because like Sheldon's work her sex life is also theoretical. Amy counters that at least when they have sex, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother and his need to crawl back into her womb. Bernadette storms out yelling that she is actually going have sex with her guy. Penny looks very distraught.

The gang enters Sheldon's apartment while discussing s and zombies and finds Howard sitting in Sheldon's couch spot naked using his laptop as revenge. They again demand their stuff back though Howard thought Sheldon would be more upset about his computer sitting on Howard's naked "".

At night, Amy and Sheldon sneak onto the parking lot and Sheldon's name over Howard's onto the parking space. Amy feels all excited, however she feels it may just be the result of her bikini wax. Sheldon tells her to keep an eye out for which she calls "freaking pigs!" Amy is asked to park her car in the parking spot, but first shows Sheldon her bikini wax results which all Sheldon comments on is that she must be high on spray paint fumes and that there were an awful lot of s used.

Penny and Bernadette are looking at her wedding photos when Amy storms in thinking that Howard had her car towed costing her $200. Bernadette coyly says "Oh, no. Where was it parked?" She proudly announces that she had Amy's car towed and that Amy probably didn't see that one coming. Amy returns that she won't see this coming as she swings her purse at Bernadette who ducks. The bag hits Penny in the face, and unfortunately Amy had a heavy can of change that she had been meaning to take to the bank in it. They continue to argue as they take Penny to the. Amy says that she'll drive so that they can see where the scratched her car. Bernadette retorts that she scratched Amy's car deliberately.

Sheldon moves his chair and out to the parking spot and tells the approaching Howard that since he said that he wasn't using his space, he decided to actually use it. Sheldon taunts him saying that he is tangling with a superior intellect that he can't do anything about. Howard then honks his horn for a long time. Sheldon put on headphones and tells Howard there is his threats are empty and there is nothing he can do to move him. Howard then pushes Sheldon with his car in his chair so he can park his car. Leonard comes running out asking what is going on. Sheldon tells him that Howard tried to kill him because video games and have desensitized him to violence. Leonard tells them that they are both acting like idiots over a stupid parking spot. Leonard can't believe that Howard tried to run Sheldon over. Howard asks him how often has he wanted to do that to Sheldon. Sheldon then crawls into Howard's car and strips naked, breaking in the new car for him with extra butt-wiggling for emphasis.

Finally, Raj drags Howard in to see Sheldon to apologize and give him back the space. Sheldon replies thank you and that he was a big man to do that, but Sheldon finds that unacceptable. He should be the bigger man and loans him the space until Sheldon learns to drive or gets a Batmobile. He also has Howard say, at Raj's insistence, that Sheldon is the bigger man. He also returns his Iron Man helmet which Sheldon found that he couldn't wear to a bank because they will tackle you to the ground. Later, Amy, Bernadette, Howard, and Sheldon get together at the Cheesecake Factory telling each other that they feel closer because of the experience. Penny, who has a broken nose and is visibly bruised about the face, passes by and says, "Yeah, everybody is happier. Great!".

Finally, Sheldon takes his cushion to the s to remove anything that Howard had left on it. He also tries to sell his laptop to the dry cleaner's teenage son.

Quotes
Bernadette: I’m really sorry that they took Sheldon’s spot away. He shouldn’t have to suffer just because Howard’s such a big deal now.

Amy: I know. Sheldon should just let Howard have his little moment in the sun.

Bernadette: What’s that supposed to mean?

Amy: Well, Howard’s never go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.

Bernadette: You’re right. And I’m sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.

Amy: If and when?

Penny: All right. Maybe we should change the subject. Amy, how are your lady parts? Still chilly down there?

Bernadette: Hang on. Hey. None of Sheldon’s theories have ever been definitively proven. My husband actually went to outer space.

Amy: That’s an impressive accomplishment. He’s now an inspiration to millions of Americans who know you don’t have to be special or even qualified to go into space.

Penny: You know, I remember the first time I got a bikini wax. My... my sister did it with melted Crayolas and duct tape. [Laughs] It’s a bad idea.

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy I’m sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon’s work your sex life is also theoretical?

Penny: Damn!

Amy: Well, at least when we do make love Sheldon won’t be thinking about his MOTHER! And yes that’s a cleverly veiled reference to Howard’s lifelong obsession to crawl back into her spacious womb.

Penny: Anyway, to this day I still can’t see a box of crayons without crossing my legs.

Bernadette:  I don’t have to take this. I’m going to go home and have sex with my husband right now. Maybe I’ll let him do it to me in a parking spot; which sounds dirty, but I didn’t mean it that way.

---

Sheldon: I don’t want another parking space. I want my parking space. It’s perfect. It’s a corner spot, cutting the risk of door-dings in half. It’s a mere 28 steps from the building entrance. The nearby tree provides shade on hot days and is also home to a delightful squirrel. Which is fortuitous because most squirrels are real jerks.

Sheldon: Well, Howard, thank you. It’s quite a gesture on your part. You’ve shown yourself to be the bigger man.

Howard: Thank you.

Sheldon: Which I find totally unacceptable. I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.

Howard: Wow, okay. Well, thanks. I don’t know what to say.

Sheldon: There is nothing to say. Except I’m the bigger man. I’m not kidding. Say it.

Raj: Just say it.

Howard: You’re the bigger man, Sheldon.

Sheldon: Oh, stop. And I believe this is yours. FYI, if you wear that into a bank, they will tackle you to the ground.

Reference
Taping report by Kyzzx

The Parking Lot Escalation