The Cooper Extraction

"The Cooper Extraction" is the eleventh episode of the seventh season of the  The Big Bang Theory. The episode aired on December 12, 2013.

Summary
Sheldon goes to Texas for his sister (Missy) since she is having a baby. While Sheldon is gone, the gang imagines their lives without Sheldon in it.

Extended Plot
Rushing down snow covered hills, Amy and Penny are video skiing. Amy is winning because her center of gravity is very low; she is built like a pyramid. Leonard sprained his ankle playing. While Penny wants him to go to the hospital, Leonard refuses to go into the ER with another video game injury. Sheldon enters the living room and turns down chance to play since he is on is way out. Texas. He is leaving immediately. Leonard inquires if someone is sick. It seems that Sheldon's sister has come down with a baby. Penny brightens up and is happy for the new Uncle Sheldon. Sheldon tells everyone that he is going to be Uncle Dr. Cooper. Amy wonders why no one knew that his sister was pregnant. Sheldon also didn't mentions his brother's kidney stones. Did people want to know everything that was coming out of his family's genitals? Sheldon is going to fill in for his brother-in-law that was in a horrible motorcycle accident. Sheldon feels that the is lucky since he doesn't have to be there for the blessed event. his sister Missy is due the next day, but since it took her six years to get through high school, Sheldon doesn't know how long it's going to take. Amy offers to give him a ride to the airport, but he doesn't want to inconvenient his girlfriend. He does turn to Leonard and tells him that they have to leave in ten minutes.

Everybody minus Sheldon are together for a tree decorating Christmas party. Since Sheldon is absence so are all of his tree decorating rules including the required spacing of the ornaments. Both Star Trek and Star Wars ornaments can now be on the same branches. The fact that Howard is enjoying trimming the Christmas tree might cause his mother to have a heart attack. Bernadette then takes the opportunity to photograph Howard trimming the tree. Penny is a little short of funds this year so her Christmas present is going to be giving him herself, which is what Leonard got last year and last night. Stuart then joins them as Amy's computer notifies her of an incoming video chat  from Sheldon. He thinks that they are so thoughtful that they have a Christmas party after he left since he isn't into Christmas. His sister has been in labor for an hour and is having a home birth because she lives in the stone-age and couldn't find a cave. Raj points out that many woman want to give birth at home in a warm comfortable environment. Sheldon feels that she will also turn her bedroom into an amniotic Slip and Slide. Sheldon then gets called away to have a family picture taken because his sister is fully dilated and there is no blood yet.

Raj wants to know if Amy would want Sheldon there if she was having a baby. Penny breaks in that she doesn't think Sheldon will be there when they make the baby. Bernadette brought over the holiday film "It's a Wonderful Life," to watch. Neither Raj nor Stuart have seen it. Amy describes the movie as being at the holiday, Jimmy Stewart is really depressed and wants to jump off a bridge and kill himself which is pretty much Stuart's life story. Bernadette then adds that he gets to see what life would be like if he never was born. Penny wonders if anyone ever considered life without someone. Leonard asks "knock..knock..knock...What do you think?...knock..knock..knock... What do you think?...knock..knock..knock... What do you think?" Amy points out that despite the jokes they make about Sheldon, none of them would be there if it wasn't for Sheldon. None of them would know Amy. Bernadette would never have met Howard. Leonard would not have been dating Penny. Leonard disagrees because he has been going to The Cheesecake Factory for years and he could have still picked her up causing everybody to laugh. Penny then explains what would have happened. Howard, Raj and Leonard are having a meal and Leonard tells them that he is going to finally ask her out. Penny comes over to ask what they want and Leonard can't even speak to her. He then walks over to her, introduces himself and tells her that there is something he has wanted to ask her for a long time. If she is not too busy he wants to know if she could tell him...where the restroom is. Penny remarks that he is too late looking strangely at him. Back in apartment 4A, Leonard objects that he would not have wet himself though Raj and Howard think that she got the story right. Leonard did ask Penny out, but that could not have happened if he hadn't moved in with Sheldon. Of course, Penny would never have been introduced Howard to Bernadette. Howard replies that he could have also met her when she was a waitress. Bernadette explains her version where she tells Penny that she finds Howard cute. Then she sees Raj feeding Howard a bite of his dessert and then cleaning off his mouth with a napkin and Bernadette changes her mind. Leonard then confronts Penny that she wouldn't have done so great herself due to the other guys she had been dating. In Penny's apartment she is preparing food and in walks Zack Johnson who calls her babe. She asks if he paid the rent and instead Zack bought some magic beans. Then Leonard makes them both pee on themselves since Penny did the same thing to him. Sheldon calls back claiming that he has seen lady things that he shouldn't. According to Amy, they don't normally look like that. That is not the way to make people since its like some dirty magic show, describes Sheldon. Sheldon's mom calls him to bring a mop. Sheldon is distraught that he has two PhD's and is reduced to being the janitor of his sister's birth canal.

Sheldon sends everyone a holiday email including a birth picture that disgusts Leonard, Penny and Raj. Back to the "It's a Wonderful Life" discussion, Penny would still have met Sheldon. Amy describes how without Leonard there, Penny would try and seduce Sheldon. Penny stalk Sheldon in the laundry room wearing her short shorts. She sunders over to him and asks if he is doing his laundry. Of course, because Saturday night is laundry night and he is in a laundry room. Sheldon tells her that her interference is justified which Penny thinks is so funny. Penny is going to do her dirty laundry as the dirty girl wearing them starts to undress. The real Penny wants her to stop, but the guys disagree. Now in her bra, Penny asks Sheldon what does he think. He finds her a tad asymmetrical, but nothing to worry about. Penny tells him that they are going to do it in the laundry room right now. Sheldon reminds her that he is saving himself for a neurobiologist who has hair the color of mud as Amy tells the story. Sheldon calls back from Texas saying that things are going better. His mother asked him to get some towels, so he left and went to "Bed, Bath and Beyond". Missy then screams while Sheldon is on the phone which he finds very rude. Amy has now diagrammed the absent Sheldon premise and tells Penny that she would never have met comic book legend Stan Lee. Howard would have always known Raj and Leonard. Leonard never got an apartment with Howard because of his serious relationship with his mother. Bernadette again mentions that if they had not met, he would still be living with his mother. Howard tells his version first that he is taking his mother her lunch in her bedroom and that she didn't get enough food. Later he is seen feeding her, but she is still in the bedroom death reminiscent of the mother in the movie "Psycho" which Howard now doing her voice. Howard is neutral on whether she starved to death or if he actually killed her. Leonard and Raj did not move in together because Raj thought he was going to be a ladies' man. In Raj's scenario, Leonard is living with him as Raj cooks dinner for a very heavy Leonard. Since he had no girlfriend, he compensated by over eating and Raj deep fried his food. Then Leonard also makes Raj fat in the living together scenario. Then Stuart shows up fat to be in someone's story. In Amy's case, without Sheldon she is alone in her apartment crying over a cupcake and signing Happy Birthday to herself. Stuart shows up and blows a party favor in her face to be in another story. Sheldon is back reports that his sister had a baby boy. Sheldon was not sure he was going to make it, however his mother gave him some ice chips and his sister (in labor) kept giving him encouragement. He's not going to go back because he finds the baby irritating and he has been crying his entire life. Howard tells him that the baby is already taking after Uncle Shelly. Amy tells him to return to be an intelligent role model for his nephew which Sheldon agrees with. Even Amy kept telling the gang the impact Sheldon had on them, he has had an impact on Amy too. Amy felt if that we're really true she wouldn't still be living alone. Leonard tells her that Sheldon cares for her more than she really thinks. Amy doesn't believe him so he shows that her picture is on Sheldon's screen saver along with Swamp Thing, Madame Curie, Stephen Hawking etc. Amy gets excited that Sheldon is really into her. And she doesn't mind Madame Curie being there because she is dead.

After Sheldon returns, Amy is walking up the stairs staring at Sheldon. She tells Sheldon that she missed him to which he quotes Han Solo, "I know." After Amy asks if he missed her, he replies that he would have liked her to be with him or had gone in his place. Amy also wonders how he felt holding his nephew hoping that he might want one with her someday. He looked into the blank innocent eyes of someone who didn't comprehend anything he said which was like another day at he office at home.

Finally Raj and Leonard are eating at the Cheesecake factory and again Leonard asks her out. She already has a boyfriend, a very suave looking Stuart. Of course, this was Stuart's Christmas fantasy.

Critics

 * Amy: Well, I have an extremely low center of gravity. I’m like a pyramid.
 * Raj: So Star Wars and Star trek characters can go on the same branch?
 * Leonard: I know, it’s crazy. Welcome to the Thunderdome, people
 * Howard: I’ve never done this before. It’s kind of fun.
 * Raj: If your Mom could see her little Bar mitzvah boy right now she’d have a heart attack.
 * Bernadette: Good idea. I’ll take a picture.


 * Sheldon: The second I go out of town you throw a Christmas party without me?
 * Amy: Yeah, kinda.
 * Sheldon: That’s so thoughtful. You guys are the best.


 * Sheldon: She chose to have a home birth because she wants to live in the stone age and a cave wasn’t available.
 * Raj: You know, many people believe that home births are better because the mothers are in a warm environment where they can be nurtured by love ones.
 * Sheldon: And turn the bedroom floor into an amniotic Slip n’ Slide.


 * Leonard: You know maybe you and I wouldn’t be together, but you wouldn’t have done so great yourself.
 * Penny: Why?
 * Leonard: Because know exactly the kind of guy you would have needed up with.
 * Zack: Hey, babe.
 * Penny: Hey, did you remember to pay the rent?
 * Zack: Better. I used the money to buy these magic beans.


 * ’’’Bernadette’’’: You know, I was thinking. Without Sheldon, most of us would have never met, but Penny would have still lived across from him.
 * Amy: And with Leonard out of the picture, we all know what that would mean.
 * Penny: we do?

[Sheldon is sorting laundry and Penny enters.] :’’’Penny’’’: Hey, Sheldon.
 * Sheldon: Hello.
 * Penny: Doing laundry?
 * Sheldon: Of course I’m doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night and I’m in a laundry room, so… I believe your inference is justified.
 * Penny: Oh my inference is justified. Sheldon you are so funny, Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too, because these clothes are so dirty. Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who is wearing them.
 * Penny: [Listening to the story.] OK, that’s enough.
 * Guys: Disagree.
 * Penny: So what do you think?
 * Sheldon: A tad asymmetrical, but nothing to be concerned about.
 * Penny: Please Sheldon, I need you.
 * Sheldon: To what?
 * Penny: To take me.
 * Sheldon: I’m not taking you anywhere till you put on a shirt.
 * Penny: Come on, Sheldon. You and me right here.
 * Sheldon: Penny for the thousandth time. I’m saving myself for someone special. Perhaps a cute bespectacled neuroscientist with hair the color of mud.
 * Penny: I think I know how to change your mind.
 * Guys: That’s enough.


 * Amy: Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. There’s tears in the frosting. Happy birthday to me


 * Amy: Did you hold the baby?
 * Sheldon: I did.
 * Amy: And …how did it make you feel?
 * Sheldon: Looking into the blank innocent eyes of a creature who couldn’t begin to comprehend anything I was saying? Basically another day at the office.


 * Amy: Did you miss me?
 * Sheldon: To quote Han Solo – I know.


 * Mary Cooper: Sheldon Lee Cooper. You get back in this room right now. And bring a mop
 * Sheldon: Did you hear that? A mop. I have two PhDs yet somehow I’m the janitor of my sister’s birth canal.

Trivia

 * This episode was filmed on two separate days, and the audience included people who were touring WB Studios like "The Scavenger Vortex" which had many short scenes in it.
 * The scene that Howard turns his mother around to reveal a skull (in Howard's imagination) quite resembes the similar scene in 's classical thriller.
 * The Sheldon-Penny scene is a tip of the hat to the Shenny fans, despite it is only an imagined scene.
 * Sheldon doesn't mention that in the last episode Missy appeared in, he spoke of her offspring being potentially another Sheldon-like genius since they have the same DNA heritage. Here she has her first baby.
 * The audience again gets to see Mrs. Wolowitz, or at least her body.
 * This episode marks the return of Mary Cooper after being absent from season 6, although we only hear her voice.
 * Penny offered to Sheldon to have sex in the laundry room with her, though she wouldn't do it with Leonard in "The Stag Convergence". Though it was only a fantasy of Amy's.
 * Raj sat in Sheldon's spot for much of the episode.

Quotes
To be entered.