The Santa Simulation

The Santa Simulation is the eleventh episode of the sixth season of the CBS sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. The episode aired on December 13, 2012.

Summary
The guys leave the girls out of a Dungeons and Dragons game, so they have an all girls night  and end up looking for a girl for Raj.

Extended Plot
Leonard is assembling a cardboard fireplace decoration for his apartment. He is amazed that he assembled an entire fireplace with his own bare hands, even though he did get a papercut. Leonard tells Penny that the guys are playing Dungeons and Dragons together because they haven't in a long time. Penny asks him if he'd rather play a fantasy board game on a Saturday night rather than have sex with his real girlfriend. Amy tells Sheldon that she always wanted to play D&D. Sheldon replies that she isn't invited because men at times have to get away from civility and break out into their primal selves. Howard tells Bernadette that she worked late so that they could be together on Saturday night. Howard tells her that if he doesn't come, then the guys will blame the failure of their night on her. Raj and Stuart had planned to have dinner and see the Christmas lights in Griffith Park, but are even more excited about joining in the game.

Their Dungeons and Dragons quest starts with a Christmas gift given to Sheldon. Sheldon, as usual, is complaining about Christmas, like the overuse of "t'is" and "t'was". He pulls out a scroll from the stocking that describes their quest that starts in a village of massacred elves. They must rescue their leader Santa Claus from a dungeon of ogres. Leonard explains that a holiday themed quest would be a good idea. Sheldon replies that that was like a sandwich of grape jelly and petroleum jelly. In-game, Howard finds a secret door, tries to set up an invasion strategy, however; Raj rushes in. He hits a trip wire that triggers a cannon, leading to his death and disqualification.

Penny pokes her head into the room and tells the guys that she thought that they should see what they are missing out on. Acting like runway models, Bernadette shows off a tight short red dress from Forever 21 and Amy a flowered dress from "Forever 63", actually showing a lot of ankle, and new shoes. Penny is wearing a very short little black dress that got her out of two parking tickets and jury duty. First they tell Raj that he can't come because its girls night, but Penny pokes her head back in and invites him. 

At the nightclub, Penny wants to find a girl for Raj but needs to know whether Raj should find a hook-up or a quality relationship. Amy announces that they should get him laid. The girls tell him that they could find someone and introduce him. Raj doesn't want her to know that he has money, but they have to be a nine or  ten. According to Bernadette, he'll have any girl that will have him and  Raj agrees.

Back at the game, the boys' characters find a large chest. Howard wants to bury his head (i.e. boobs) in it even though he is married. The door locks behind them, and words appear on the chest as the walls start to close in. The answer of the clues have Sheldon singing Good King Weneslas to stop the walls from closing in. Sheldon knew the song from when his grandparents would sing carols at Christmas time. They tried to resume the game, however Sheldon kept singing the remaining verses.

Raj finds a hot girl at the bar, they talked for a while, and he leaves her to return to the girls. He finds that she gave him a phony email address. Raj complains that is really his fault since he falls for girls that are out of his league. He did when he fell for his friends' hot girlfriends, Penny and Bernadette. Amy then concludes at some point he'll fall her. Raj says a definite "no" but Penny and Bernadette urgently try to get Raj to change his comment about Amy, but he keeps saying "no", and that he wouldn't fall for her.

Back at the game, Sheldon was finishing the last verse of Good King Wenceslas. Next they find a melted snowman that Sheldon wants ever detail about. Afterwards he picks up a glass of eggnog. Leonard says that he's glad that Sheldon is finally in the holiday spirit, but Sheldon claims that he is not and that he drinks it all year round. Leonard wishes that Sheldon would get in the spirit since he had enough crappy Christmases when he was a kid. Instead of leaving Santa milk and cookies, Leonard 's family left research papers for Santa, and then in the morning they were graded. Sheldon though that they were great Christmases.

Raj apologizes to Amy if he upset her. Amy said her first kiss was at twenty-two, but only before she returned some guy's medicine to him.    <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;line-height:19.185184478759766px;">Raj claimed that during a game of spin the bottle, the girl the bottle landed on, said of he comes close to her she would break the bottle and cut him. Amy  <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;line-height:19.166667938232422px;">said she fell asleep at a frat party in college and woke up with more clothes on. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;line-height:19.166667938232422px;"> Raj said that he'll sit on one hand, make it fall asleep and then hold hands and feel like it was another person. Amy does the same thing, but hers sometimes cops a feel. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;line-height:19.185184478759766px;">She tells Raj that she knows what it's like to be alone and Raj agrees as they seem to connect. But Raj reminds her that she has Sheldon now. Then Amy tells him that he'll eventually find somebody too. Raj says that he hopes that she is as half as a lovely person as Amy. Amy then says that he <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;line-height:19.185184478759766px;">" <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;line-height:19.185184478759766px;">wan <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;line-height:19.185184478759766px;">ts me, now I'm good". She says that they can leave now, obviously getting back at Raj. Then Raj tells Penny on the way out that now he may fall for Amy. Penny looks exasperated like here we go again.

During the next stunt, Sheldon puts numbers on the whiteboard and the three players start playing Jingle Bells on bells. This act lowers the drawbridge and they find the bloody and beaten Santa in the dungeon. <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:19.200000762939453px;">Sheldon freezes Howard and Stuart, goes in and yells at Santa Claus. Sheldon confesses that when he was five, he asked Santa to bring back his Pop-Pop, Meemaw's husband, who had just died and was his only relative that urged him to follow his dream into science. Instead Santa brought him a set of Lincoln Logs. He kicks Santa and leaves him to the ogres. The others are completely shocked as they now know that Sheldon doesn't like celebrating Christmas as he was struggling to recover from such a traumatic family tragedy at the time. Leonard just comments that he gave up sex with Penny for this unhappy ending.

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:19.200000762939453px;">That night Sheldon comes into the living room and finds Santa Claus leaving him presents and he apologizes for not bringing back his Pop-Pop because he said that his magicwas limited. He also had something special for Sheldon. Sheldon seems excited, thinking his presents were trains. But because Sheldon left him for dead in the D&D game, Santa fired a cannon at Sheldon for his revenge. Sheldon quickly woke up from his nightmare, coming to the senses that he shouldn't blame Santa for his grandpa not coming back to life.

<span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:sans-serif;font-size:13px;line-height:19.200000762939453px;">

Critics
"This was absolutely classic Big Bang Theory. Two entertaining stories that hit the nerve of two characters before backing swiftly off to avoid actually having to follow through on anything...I don’t see why the world would end if there were conclusions to these stories. The writers did all the hard work and then just abandoned Raj and Sheldon to remain forever who they are now." - The TV Critic's Review

Trivia

 * Leonard has a Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master's Screen (4th Edition). Drow appear on the middle panel of the screen.
 * The guys previously played D&D in The Wiggly Finger Catalyst. It was also referenced in The Weekend Vortex, The Plimpton Stimulation, and The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary.
 * When Sheldon receives a Christmas stocking containing a scroll for Leonard 's holiday-themed Dungeons & Dragonscampaign, he reveals his sentiments regarding the impracticality of a single sock. Howard then inputs that a pirate with a peg leg would require only one sock, reassuring Sheldon. Similarly, in The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition, Penny mentions a tap dancing pirate with a wooden leg. Further fascination with pirates is shown in The Pirate Solution, wherein Sheldon proffers that Raj wander the high seas as a stateless pirate and delights in the prospect.
 * After a string of episodes in seasons 5 and 6 which questioned where Howard and Bernadette would live after the wedding, including The Habitation Configuration, it is now confirmed in this episode that Howard is currently living in Bernadette 's apartment, as he is seen video-chatting with her from there while she is at work. His place of residency was implied in The Parking Spot Escalation when Amy arrives at Bernadette 's apartment just to confront Howard about him having her car towed, but is told he is not there.
 * Sheldon tried to build a high energy particle accelerator out of LEGOs.LEGO s were previously mentioned in The Monopolar Expedition, The Plimpton Stimulation, The Zarnecki Incursion, The Isolation Permutation, The Weekend Vortex, The Launch Acceleration, and The 43 Peculiarity.
 * Amy states she got her first kiss when she was 22, and only through blackmailing a guy. But it was previously stated that before kissing Sheldon, she had never had a kiss. Although its possible she was being truthful as she was trying to get back at Raj.
 * Likewise her whole speech seems questionable, as she was shown not to have developed romantic or sexual urges until after she met Sheldon.
 * Quite out of charater, Sheldon actually gets the lyrics of Good King Wenceslas wrong, after the line, "Yonder peasent who is he? Where or what his dwelling?" he then repeats the previous line, "Brightly shone the moon that night." The correct verse is, "Sire he lives a good league hence, underneath a mountain, right against the forest fence, by Saint Agnes fountain."
 * Bernadette's working uniform is shown again. On the left chest there is a blue "ZANGEN" sign in an ellipse, which was also recognized in the episode The Higgs Boson Observation (S6E03). In this episode, her name after marrige "Rostenkowski-Wolowitz Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz " clearly is visible on the right chest.

Reference:
Taping Reportby Kyzzx