The Military Miniaturization

"The Military Miniaturization" is the second episode of the tenth season of the American sitcom The Big Bang Theory. The episode will air in September 26, 2016.

Summary
The Air Force talks to the guys about their invention and Penny blabs to work that Bernadette is expecting.

Extended Plot
Cold Open: (Apt 4A) Leonard & Sheldon are at their computers. Sheldon says "Did you know Elon Musk has a theory that we are all video game characters in a big universe game?". Leonard says "some alien kind got the upgrade for an inhaler & glasses" to which Sheldon says "I didn't say the game was good". (Done 3 times first had a different line but fell flat so they did this game not good twice). In walks Howard & Raj saying they have a big problem. Raj informs them that a person from the military came to visit him @ gave him his business card saying to have Howard call him. Raj says it was terrifying. Sheldon says that it does it sound terrifying to which he says back "it would be to a white guy but to a brown guy not from here you'd be freaking out" (first take Raj just says "yes maybe I over exaggerated it but the brown line was done again & the crowd went more into it JMO). Howard freaks how bad this is (can't remember exact wording but basically how the military will take this and they won't even get paid) and Leonard agrees. Howard says he has to make as much money as Bernadette cause he already has so much sex. Sheldon turns gives a look and Leonard says "really" and Howard says "how do you think I stay in this shape". Sheldon says "gentleman we're getting away from the real issue" and he praises how awesome this is, that they could be simplest pogs and all. They say "aren't you worried this could bring on mass destruction" and Sheldon says excitingly that he always wanted to be like a storm trooper who just falls in line (don't quote me but that's sorta the jist).

Second scene: (Apt 4b). Girls drinking wine around the island (Bernadette has apple juice). She says she is really concerned about Howard and this military stuff. Penny says "we work for a major pharm company, get him some anxiety meds". Bernie says the only meds Howard takes are those chewable and shaped like Flintsones. Penny says the way she gets Leonard to relax is by sending him for a walk. Amy asks if that works to which Penny says "yea but then he comes back". Bernie gets a message from work from somebody congratulating her on her pregnancy. She is like "how do they all know". She them asks Penny if she told and Penny quickly says "of course not you told me not to". Bernie says she think its that Barbara Chen that told that she probably heard her throwing up in the bathroom. "Ever since she got that hearing aid she thinks she' knows everything ". Amy says "you do know you're pregnant right" to which Bernie says she didn't want anyone knowing because she is up for this big immune project and she won't get it. Amy asks how does she know that will happen to which Bernie says because she did the same thing last year to Barbara Chen.

Next scene: 4A again. Guys in their traditional spots around the couch. Raj says he is gonna snapchat that his friends are involved in a top-secret military project. Leonard says he can't do that so Raj says "fine, I'll post on Facebook like a caveman" and Leonard grabs his phone. Howard says that maybe they should speak to a lawyer and Raj says that Howard should know one. Howard says "are you only saying that because I am Jewish, thats like asking you if your cousin works in a call center" to which Raj says that he does have a cousin in a call center and Howard says "I do have a lawyer who is a cousin". Sheldon says they don't need a lawyer, they have him. Leonard tells Sheldon that he isn't a lawyer just a know-it-all to which Sheldon says (1st take that he isn't just likes telling people things and correcting them when they are wrong (2nd take is some german phase he says which was funnier).

Next scene: back in 4A the girls are sitting around the couch. Its asked to Bernie how long she thought she could hide her pregnancy to which she has been leaving Dove chocolate empty wrappers everywhere to throw people off and Amy asks "where did you get Dove wrappers" and Bernie snaps "I'm pregnant" implying she's been eating them. Penny and Amy have looks like the beast is unleashed. Bernie then says she needs to talk to her boss and leave. As she exits Penny shuts the door and says "I did it, I told everyone she's pregnant" and Amy says "but you lied so well". Penny says "I didn't mean it, it just sorta came out.." To which Bernie comes back for her forgotten coat and Penny quickly is happy saying here it is and guides her back out. Amy says "your lies are like lumps of clay that you mold into more lies". Penny is freaking out to which Amy says "Seriously you have to let me get inside your brain while you are lying" and Penny says "Oh come Amy do you think that's really helping" to which Amy stands and says "well clearly your bitch septors are on fire" and walks to kitchen to pour more wine while throwing shady looks.

Next scene: Howard's lab. The guys are in front of a laptop. They plan to call Howard's cousin for help. Sheldon thinks its pointless as Howard's cousin doesn't do this kind of law and lives in Ft. lauderdale. Howard says stop and actually he lives in Bocca Raton and thats way better. They call the cousin via skype. He admits this isn't his fortay but suggests hearing the military out, don't tell them too much and don't sign anything. Leonard and Howard are appreciative while Sheldon says that's all you got. "What if we paint a painting and don't sign it. Are you suggesting that" to which the attorney is stunned and Sheldon says "this pointless as I said it would be". The cousin Marty asks Howard why Sheldon is yelling at him. Leonard says he'll need Marty's assistance when he is up on murder charges. Sheldon says (1st take) who would you be murdering (2nd take) you can have me represent you.

Next scene (Bernadette's office). Penny comes by to ask how she is doing and if she found out who told everyone and Bernie says no. Penny says "oh god so no worries, water under the bridge" and Bernie snaps back with "No, this person almost ruined my career". Penny says in High School when a girl spread rumors do you know what they did to her....they forgave her. Bernie then asks Penny if she thinks it crosses a line if she were to go to Barbara Chen's computer to look up porn. Penny cracks and says "ok I am going to be honest and I am ball shit terrified but I am the one who told". Bernie asks how could she and Penny says it was an accident and very sternly Bernie says "get out". Oh the way out Penny says that she is sorry and that girl in high school they actually threw her retainer in the toliet (done 3 times to soften it a bit).

Next scene (Howards lab). Sheldon ask Leonard why he can't be the one to talk to the military and Leonard says because he aggitates people. Sheldon asks if he can exchange pleasant gestures. leonard says ok. Sheldon asks if he can use text to talk on his phone and Leonard says "now I am getting aggitates (2nd take had Howard just say no). Then the commander (Howard and Leonard introduce themselves while Sheldon sorta bows/courtesy) comes in and says "who is the brains behind this" to which Howard says we all 3 contributed but (1st take he says his idea, 2nd take he says he was the head brain). We see a silent Sheldon freaking out and squeak. (End scene which is probably a break for commercial).

We then pick up and see Leonard and Howard explaining the gyroscope to the commander. Howard admits that they are nervous this will be used for weapons and the commander says "let me ease your mind, that is none of your business. We simply want to pay you for your research". He asks about the vorteses and Leonard compliments his knowledge and the Commander says he is a scientist himself and Howard says "a physicist" and he says "no the best, an engineer" (Sheldon is still silent and reacting physically behind the commander). Leonard asks where he went to school and he answers "M.I.T"... sheldon still silent and his blood is boiling. Howard says he went there and the commander says "the best inventions come from MIT minds"... sheldon is dying.... Then the Commander says you need to make the gyroscope smaller and they say they aren't sure and the commander says "its not like you are making the death star from Star Trek" (Sheldon is silently fuming...physically going apeshit). Then the commander says the MIT team can do the job in 4 mos. Sheldon cannot contain it anymore and bluets out "we can do it in 2 months, hi Sheldon Cooper, MIT isnt a real school, Engineers aren't scientists, The death star is from Star Wars not Star Trek and I thank you for your service" and then he salutes him. Ok this whole scene Jim's physical comedy was hysterical!! Done 3x with different body reactions each time.

Next scene (Bernadettes office). We see a Bernadette working and Amy comes in holding a McDonalds bag saying "Howard told me you were working late so I thought I would stop by and bring you some dinner". Bernie thinks it sweet and explains she is working late to make sure she is on her a-game and keeping her jo. Amy asks are you really that worried and Bernie stands up and says "look at me, I talk funny, little, people don't see scientist...they see a girl looking for her Mommy. I worked so hard I don't want to loose it". Amy says "man I really wish I didn't get you that Happy Meal". She says "I wish there was a way to make you feel better". Bernie says "you brought me fries" and Amy says "well I actually got you apple slices cause you are pregnant and all" and Bernie snaps "seriously who goes to McDonalds and brings back fruit" to which Amy jumps up and leaves and Bernie shouts "don't forget a chocolate milkshake" (hysterical scene)

Next scene (back at 4A) we see Sheldon stirring mix. Penny comes in and asks what he is doing and he says making lemon squares for Leonard. Penny asks if Leonard even likes those to which Sheldon says "I don't know but he is mad and I am mad so why not a crumming sour bar". Penny asks what happened at the meeting and Sheldon says they asked him not to talk. Penny says "but you talked" and Sheldon says "see you knew I would why wouldn't they". Penny says "if it makes you feel any better Bernadette is mad at me". Sheldon says something like "to make you feel better did you know a wasp was found that was a new species" and Penny asks why would that make me feel better and walks away to which Sheldon says "fine tell me why Bernadette is mad at you". Penny says "because I told people at work she was pregnant when she didn't want people knowing". He asks why would she do that. She says it was an accident. He says his fight with the guys is the same except he isn't sorry and doesn't regret saying it.

Next scene (howards lab...all emptied out and boxed). We have Leonard and Howard and Raj and Raj is saying how he is really going to miss them. And Howard says "we're just going to be on the other side of the university". But they say they are going to working 24/7. Leonard says "Penny is going to miss my french toast, the one thing keeping her in this marriage". Raj is sad and Howard makes fun of him.

Scene (apt 4B). Bernadette is walking up the stairs bloated and rubs her belly saying "I really should of had those apple slices". She knocks, Penny answers and Bernadette aplogized for getting upset, knows it was an accident. Penny asks how the meeting with her boss went. Bernie says her boss said she has nothing to worry about, the project is hers. Then he made a joke about eating for two, Bernie made a joke about eating for his diabetes and then it got awkward. She admits she isn't handling these pregnancy hormones well and Penny hugs her. While hugging her Bernie says she told people that Penny had been selling drugs to a motorcycle gang.

Tag (university hallway in the confidential wing). The 3 guys are walking to their new workspace and to get into the room they measure the retinal (with eyeball scans). They all try it and pass. Then it says 1 hour later and instead of working they are still playing around with it. Its funny

Ok I will add BTS and such later. Boarding soon. Overall hysterical fun episode (sorry typos I did this on my Iphone).

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks to the report from Kev0821

Credits

 * Guest starring:
 * Dean Norris as Captain Williams
 * Teleplay: Steven Molaro, Steve Holland, Maria Ferrari
 * Story: Chuck Lorre, Eric Kaplan, Jim Reynolds

Critics
To be entered.

Trivia

 * Captain Williams will be introduced in this episode as the Air Force Officer and engineer who becomes interested in the guys' invention. He will be played by Dean Norris who has been cast in a multi episode arc.

Quotes
To be entered.