The Deception Verification

"The Deception Verification" is the second episode of the seventh season of the  The Big Bang Theory. This episode first aired on September 26, 2013.

Summary
Sheldon gets angry at Leonard when he sneaks back into town to spend some time alone with Penny. Howard suffers the affects of his mother's.

Extended Plot
Sheldon and Penny are returning from the  and Sheldon is reciting "interesting" facts. It seems that the can affect the  of the, so bad weather can actually make the  longer. Penny quips that there must a hell of a storm somewhere. With Leonard returning in a couple of days, this is Penny's last chance to take Sheldon to the grocery store. Penny admits that she will miss their time together. Sheldon then suggests that if his are mealy, they can run back down for one last big blow out. Any criticism from Sheldon on her performance will come in her , which Penny doesn't plan on reading.

After entering her apartment she screams when she finds Leonard hiding behind the. Since the project has been completed early, he came home a couple of days early and doesn't want his friends to know so that they can spend some time together. Penny thinks that that is so. She hugs him tightly as Sheldon tells Penny that not all his are the right size so they have to go back.

At the comic book store Sheldon seeks help from Stuart to buy Leonard a related gift. Stuart offers him an Aquaman statue. Sheldon calls it a  until Stuart mentions that he only wants to sell it to a real collector. Sheldon objects that he is a collector and continues to discuss the Aquaman statue while Stuart recommends the Batman.

Howard is complaining that they've put 's in 's body. Raj is enjoying the story line since it mixes the and  genres. Howard snaps at him and then explains he's on edge because of the he is on. He put on a couple of pounds and even had to buy from the men's department. Raj says that it was only a matter of time before Howard took after his mother.

Sheldon makes a final offer of $1200 for the Aquaman statue. Stuart is finally willing to part with it and says that Leonard will love it. Sheldon suddenly remembers that he needs a for Leonard and tells Stuart to throw in the squirt gun. Stuart hedges saying that the squirt gun is pretty rare which gets Sheldon excited.

At Penny's apartment, Leonard is showing her pictures of his trip. The delivery man knocks on Penny's door and Leonard gives her some money. He tells her that he has to hit, which how "salty " say they are going to go pee. Penny gives him $25.00 for a $22.50 pizza and tells him to keep the change. The deliveryman complains about climbing the stairs, so Penny gives him about another 30 cents and tells him that she won't call his boss to say that he reeks of.

Sheldon comes up the stairs and sees Penny with the pizza. He asks if she would like to join him for the he just brought in. Penny declines, though he claims with their Chinese and Italian specialties they could play. He means that they could reenact a meal eaten by the great, not the terrifying. When they hear the toilet flush, Sheldon asks if she has company. Penny says that she has called the building manager about it. Sheldon comes in saying that he could take a look at it since he is quite familiar with. Penny yells out so that Leonard can hear her that Sheldon doesn't have to go in the. Sheldon also finds it odd that Penny has two glasses of on the  and that all of her  containers are in the trash can and not still sitting out. Penny promises Sheldon that no one else is in her apartment and that after a long day she just wants to eat a quiet by herself. Sheldon says that he is no stranger to wanting to have. Finally, as Penny is trying to get him out the door he asks if she has gotten Leonard a coming home present. She says no. Then Sheldon wants to know if she wants to split the price of a $200 Batman squirt gun.

Howard returns home tired. Bernadette has made some and offers him one. He gets upset because he has been gaining weight and doesn't think that she is supporting him. He has been at his mother's house spreading all over her back. Bernie asks why she couldn't do it herself. He snaps back that they have a deeply unhealthy relationship. He wonders if Bernadette could get some samples of the ointment from work because due to his mother's size they are running out very quickly. She remarks that it has a high content and she hopes he's been using. "How can I get gloves over these swollen sausages," he snaps. She explains that he had been absorbing it too and that is why he is, , and a giant pain in the ass. Now Howard feels stupid and fat. Bernadette offers to take him into the and show him that she thinks he looks great. Then Howard asks her if is her solution to every problem.

In apartment 4A, Amy and Sheldon are having while Amy explains her new made up. She thinks that he is not paying attention, but he does know the new word for. Sheldon explains that he is distracted by his visit to Penny's. She clearly lied to him about having someone else in her apartment and might be on Leonard. He says that Leonard has been gone for some time and she does have rather ravenous nether regions. Amy doesn't think that Penny would do that. Sheldon says that once he and Penny were having a contest and she clapped to make him. He says that it is a short jump from there to. Amy still won't believe it. When Sheldon mentions the take-out containers in the trash can, Amy is convinced.

Sheldon has his ear to Penny's door, hearing and  followed by kissing. Amy then listens and thinks that she can hear Leonard. Sheldon doesn't know why he would come home early to kiss Penny when he could be hanging out with his best buddy, himself. He pulls out his spare apartment key while Amy says that he shouldn't do that. He bursts in saying "Ah-ha" and finds Leonard and Penny sitting on the. Penny screams and admonishes him for breaking into her place. Sheldon agrees and goes back out to do his knock and then asks if she is going to open the door or if he should come in and again say "Ah-ha."

Leonard apologizes to Sheldon saying that he came home early just so he could have a couple of days alone with Penny. Sheldon sarcastically apologizes because he didn't realize that their was such a burden. Sheldon uses Leonard's very words that he finds him "{finicky,, and ". Sheldon wants to address the "tweepadoc" (elephant) in the room. Leonard doesn't know what that means. Sheldon refers him to Amy who wants to be left out of this argument. Sheldon tells Leonard that there is no need for him to pretend to like him anymore. Leonard again apologizes. Sheldon thinks that he can save his apologies for after he has disappointing with Penny. Amy looks at Penny and she says that it was fine. Leonard goes to get the hat that he brought back for Sheldon. Leonard agrees that he can't buy back his friendship with a cheap. As Sheldon tries it on, Leonard signals the girls to say something. Penny thinks he looks great, while Amy says, "Hello, sailor." Sheldon goes off to look at himself in the mirror. He comes back and says that it changes nothing, except his. Sheldon then tells Amy that she is going to be and to lay off the s.

Raj comes over to Howard's place at his request. Howard has made little es and has a in the. Howard has been reading up on the side effects of estrogen. He wants Raj to tell him if his look bigger. Raj is not sure and makes Howard jump up and down and wiggle side to side like a. Then Raj stands up and asks if his chest moves the same way. Finally they start to feel each other's chest to check their. Bernadette witnesses this display and leaves the room quietly all "weird"ed out. When the oven timer goes off, they run into the kitchen to get the brie.

Three days later in Apartment 4A, Leonard asks Sheldon if he wants a ride to work. Sheldon wonders if he can believe anything Leonard says. Leonard tells him that he is going to work and that Sheldon can come if he wants to. Sheldon agrees and then tells him that he has something on his. Leonard finds nothing. "Hurts, doesn't it?" taunts Sheldon. Leonard mumbles to himself that the sank and he's now in.

Going down the, Sheldon wonders if anything Leonard ever told him is true. Sheldon questions if Leonard is really from. Leonard then asks why would anyone claim to be from New Jersey when they weren't. He apologizes again. Sheldon wants him to say that he was wrong. After Leonard admits that, Sheldon still doesn't believe him. Heading through the lobby, Sheldon reverses everything that Leonard says. Leonard gets fed up and takes back his offer to drive Sheldon to the university. Outside, Leonard flips off Sheldon which Sheldon interprets as another opposite.

Penny is leaving for her morning shift at the Cheesecake Factory and runs into Amy who is driving Sheldon to work. Penny finds out that Sheldon is also mad at her because she was the that lead him astray. Penny doesn't know what a succubus is, however with suck in it she doesn't think that it's good. Penny gives Sheldon a "hey" when he comes out, and all Sheldon wants to give her is a groan. Penny reminds him of all the great times they had together this. Sheldon indicates that that makes the even worse. Sheldon even let her buy products with his supermarket card. He tells her to think about all the he's going to get that he doesn't need. Amy tries to defend Penny, however Sheldon claims she is either with him or against him. Amy stands up to him and asks if he wants to take the to work. Sheldon thinks that there must be a third option.

In the Caltech cafeteria, Raj, Howard, and Leonard are having. Leonard is talking about his work from his trip. Howard reminds Raj that his eyes are "up here," implying that he resents Raj staring at his chest. Sheldon sits down and calls Leonard. Leonard calls him a crazy person. Sheldon then claims that he will have a army or a  army someday. Howard has an emotional, outburst, telling them to stop fighting because they are really best friends. Both of them decide to stop fighting.

Everyone is back together having dinner while Sheldon gushes about all the places Leonard took him to including the bureau of. Penny is glad that Sheldon and Leonard are friends again. Sheldon gives Penny a coupon he received for feminine products. Raj is happy that everyone is finally together again. Leonard notices that Raj can now talk in front of the girls while sober. Howard cries that he can't believe that they forgot to tell Leonard. Penny hands him the coupon for feminine products.

Critics

 * Jesse Schedeen of IGN:* (on)... the very next episode sees him return home. But it wasn't that surprising considering how redundant that story line was. Instead, this second episode hinged on the sort of comedy of errors you only see in sitcoms…In any case, the plot kicked into gear as Leonard made his surprise return. Predictable as it was, it was funny to see Sheldon hone in on the suspicious evidence in Penny's apartment and start putting two and two together…The tiff between Leonard and Sheldon was a fun, if mild dose of drama, though more because Sheldon deserves to be taken down a peg than because he had any legitimate grievance…at least Amy continued her recent trend of standing up for herself around Sheldon, shooting down his "The friend of my enemy's girlfriend is my enemy," threat straight away… I really hope the next couple episodes will spark something new so that this season doesn't prove as aimless as the previous one could be at times.
 * Dhruv Rao of The DR Club gave the double-premiere a B.

Trivia

 * Sheldon notices something is wrong when he finds Penny's leftover takeout containers in the trashcan. She is never that neat.
 * Sheldon mentioned in the previous episode "The Hofstadter Insufficiency" (S7E01) that Leonard will bring Sheldon a sailor hat, and in this episode he fulfills this promise.
 * Newsflash: "Last Night's 8:30 PM Broadcast Adjusted Upward, Making It the Show's Most-Watched Episode Ever with 20.44 Million Viewers."
 * This is the second time in the series that something that Howard says/does that catches the ears of a crowd. The first time was in "The Robotic Manipulation".
 * Amy tells Penny that Sheldon referred to her as a succubus. This is a female monster derived from Greek mythology who would come to men in their dreams to seduce them and drain them of their life energy.
 * Bernadette offers Howard brownies when they clearly have nuts in them, to which Howard is highly allergic to as seen in The Peanut Reaction. Unless she forgot that Howard was allergic, she may have been trying to kill him.

Quotes
Amy: Sheldon. Your fight's with Leonard. Penny’s got nothing to do…

Sheldon: Careful Amy. The friend of my enemy’s girlfriend is my enemy.

Amy: Really.

Sheldon: Yes. You’re either with me or against me.

Amy: You want to take the bus to work?

Sheldon: Maybe there’s a third option.

Leonard: So am I driving you to work or are you still mad at me?

Sheldon: I’d like a ride. Assuming you actually do take me to work.

Leonard: Where do you think I would take you?

Sheldon: Who knows? You said you’d be home yesterday, but came home three days ago. You say you’re taking me to work, but for all I know I’ll end up in a deserted amusement park, or a cornfield maze or a back alley dog fight. You tell me.

Leonard: I’m going to work. You can come if you want.

Sheldon: OK. By the way you have something on your shirt.

Leonard: No, I don’t.

Sheldon: Hurts, doesn’t it? You know I find myself wondering if anything you every told me is true.

Leonard: I didn’t make it back. The ship sank. I’m in hell.

Sheldon: You say you’re from New Jersey, but how can I believe you.

Leonard: Why would anybody claim to be from New Jersey, if they weren’t?

Sheldon: All right, I’ll give you that one.

Sheldon: I fear Penny's being unfaithful to Leonard.

Amy: What?

Sheldon: She claimed to be alone when there was obviously someone else in her apartment. I have no choice but to assume the worst, given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage and her famously ravenous nether regions.

Amy: I don't think Penny would cheat on Leonard.

Leonard: Oh really? She and I once had a staring contest, she clapped really loud and made me blink. It's a small leap from there to sexual infidelity.

Amy: You're being ridiculous.

Sheldon: Amy there were Chinese food containers...in the trash can.

Amy: Poor Leonard.