The Ornithophobia Diffusion

The Orithophobia Diffusion is the ninth episode of the fifth season of the CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory. It aired on November 10th, 2011.

Summary
The episode started with Penny returning from the Cheesecake Factory and running into Leonard downstairs as he was checking his mail. They had a friendly conversation where Penny asked whether Leonard knew how to cook salmon to which he replied not really. Penny then went on to ask what was Leonard's plan with Sheldon for the night. Leonard replied that they were going to watch Star Wars on Blu Ray, when Penny mentioned that he must have seen the movie for a thousand times, Leonard replied that he has only watched it twice on Blu Ray. Penny told Leonard that she was going to the movie tonight and asked whether Leonard wanted to go together. A confused Leonard asked whether it was okay for them to do that since they have not spent any time alone together since they broke up. Penny replied that it would not be a date but merely just a man and a woman hanging out, and not having sex at the end of the night.

They reached Leonard's apartment and heard Sheldon yelling "Oh Dear Lord, get away from me you monster!". Penny wondered what it was about and Leonard suggested that Sheldon is smart and crazy enough to create a monster. When they got into the apartment, they found that Sheldon was freaking out over a blue jay perched on the window sill and wanted to shoo it away. Penny was amazed that on top of all the things Sheldon fear, he is afraid of birds. Sheldon explained that it is called Ornitophibia and that someday it will be recognized as a true disability and the landlord will be required to put a giant net over the building, and added that he has fear for nets too. Penny asked Leonard again whether he wanted to go to the movie with her and he immediately responded yes. Penny left the apartment as Sheldon continued to shoo away the bird. Leonard told Sheldon to ignore the bird so Sheldon pulled the curtain to cover the window, noting that it was a good idea since attention is what birds want. The bird made a sound and Sheldon started freaking out again.

Sheldon continued his attempts to shoo way the bird, this time by mimicking a cat's meow, but to no avail. Leonard came out all dressed up to go out with Penny. He asked Sheldon what he thought of his outfit, stressing that he did not want to give an impression to Penny that he thought it was going to be date. He ended up going back inside his room to change as Sheldon decided to call Animal Control. The people from Animal Control laughed at him. Sheldon drew a cat's face on a paper and attempted the cat's meow again, resulting in another failure.

Meanwhile, after changing his outfit again, Leonard finally dressed up like how he used to dress up everyday to work.

At the movie, Penny wanted to watch a Jennifer Aniston movie. Leonard disagreed and wanted to watch a documentary on building a dam on a river in South America. Penny insisted on her choice and Leonard almost gave in until he told her that he should pick this time since in the past they always followed Penny's choices.

Penny did not realize that and defended that Leonard loved all those movies. Leonard confessed that he only went along with them since he was expecting sex at the end of the night and since this was a non-date and sex was off the table, they should watch the documentary. Leonard even asked Penny to pay for her own ticket.

Back at the apartment, an impatient Howard and Raj were waiting for Sheldon to finish his work on his ultrasonic blast machine before starting the Star Wars movie. Howard said that he will just start the movie since if they waited any longer, George Lucas may change the movie again. Sheldon asked Howard's assistance to finish setting-up the machine and while Howard worked on it, Sheldon shared his ordeal with birds with Raj, which included a parrot calling him a "fat-ass". Howard finished working on the machine, calling it Sheldon's Bird Death Ray. Sheldon told him that it was not a death day and if he did have a death ray, he would be in his lair, enjoying the money the people of the Earth gave him for not using his death ray. He started the machine, but it did not scare the bird away instead it shattered the window. Raj commented with "that is one tough birdie".

Penny and Leonard were hanging out at Brady's Beer after the movie. Leonard suggested that Penny did enjoy the movie since she teared up when the village got flooded and the people had to relocate. Penny denied it and said that she only teared up because she was thinking how come the people could leave yet she could not. Leonard laughed and asked Penny whether she would like some fries since he was getting some for himself. Penny said no and Leonard asked again by saying that she always said that but she ended up eating half of his fries. Penny said that she only ate the little crispy ones that Leonard did not like. Leonard replied that he liked them and wanted to save them for the end but they were gone before he could eat it and he kept quiet because, Penny interfered, and answered he was expecting sex at the end of the night and Leonard agreed. Leonard asked again if Penny would like some fries and she said yes. Leonard said great and asked Penny for money for her fries. While Leonard went to get their fries, Penny ended up flirting with Kevin, a geeky screenwriter who was sitting behind their table. Penny even sat at Kevin's table, leaving Leonard alone.

Meanwhile, Sheldon tried to watch the television but the blue jay made a noise again, causing Sheldon to get frustrated. Sheldon went inside the closet and came out wearing a helmet and holding a broom. He carefully opened the window and tried to shoo the bird away using the broom. The bird however took opportunity of the opened window to fly into the apartment and ended up landing on Sheldon's spot on the couch.

Penny started telling Kevin how wonderful the documentary she just saw with Leonard by talking about generating electricity and preserving the environment while Leonard sat alone, sulking. Leonard finally stood up and asked to speak to Penny. He told her that he knew that she was going out of her way talking to that guy because he said that their outing was not a date. Penny told him that she thought the guy was cute and told him to talk to other girls if he wanted to.

Back at the apartment, Sheldon enlisted Amy and Bernadette's help with the bird. Amy asked Sheldon what he expected them to do and Sheldon said that since they are both biologists they should know how to deal with living things like the bird. Bernadette told him that she specialized in microorganisms while Amy studied brains. Amy added that neither of them minored in bird-shooing. Bernadette asked Sheldon to come back into the apartment and had the bird perched on her arms. She suggested that the bird may be someone's lost pet. Sheldon told Bernadette to slowly and carefully flush it down the toilet. Amy told Sheldon that the only way to get over a fear is to interact with it, just like what he did with the mailman. Sheldon approached the bird slowly but backed out. Bernadette immediately yelled "Oh, just pat the bird you big baby!", prompting Sheldon to stroke the bird. He still insisted on flushing the bird down the toilet.

Leonard finally found someone to talk to, a woman named Laura. He lied to her about the stuffs he enjoyed such as hiking, karaoke, and Jennifer Aniston movies. Penny came over and apologized for ditching him. He said he was fine with it and asked her to go away. Penny said that Kevin left and asked to hang out. Leonard said that Penny only wanted to hang out with him now that Kevin was gone. Penny asked Leonard what he had been telling Laura about her but Leonard refused and asked her to hang out with other guys there. Penny replied by asking Laura whether Leonard told her he owned two Star Trek uniforms and he wore them even when it was not Halloween. Leonard retaliated by saying that Penny thought that Cold Wars were only fought during winter. Penny answered that half of Leonard's dirty movies are animated. Leonard replied by asking whether Kevin knew that Penny's acting career involved a long-running role as waitress in a local production of The Cheesecake Factory. Penny asked whether Laura knew about Leonard's lucky athma inhaler. Leonard asked Penny to spell athma. Penny could not and asked him to take her home. Leonard initially refused but noticing that Laura had left agreed with her.

Meanwhile, Sheldon had overcame his fear of birds and was infatuated by the blue jay. He even asked Bernadette to take a picture of him and the bird, and suggested he would put up the picture for a mug, a mouse pad, and a calendar. Sheldon started calling the bird his "little Lovey-Dovey". Bernadette told him that the bird still looked like someone's pet and they should make posters. Sheldon agreed but said that the posters should have the words "Is this your bird? Not anymore!", and started planning the fun things he would do with the bird, including carrying messages to all his enemies. Amy said that Sheldon could borrow her cage if he wanted since one of her test monkeys slipped over a banana peel and broke its neck. Sheldon disagreed and told her that Lovey-dovey will sleep in his own nest which he will retrieve from the window sill and put in his room. But the moment Sheldon opened the window, the blue jay flew out of the apartment.



Penny and Leonard returned to the apartment and saw Sheldon's poster of his missing blue jay on their way up the stairs, neither looking as if they had enjoyed the non-date. Leonard broke the ice by saying that they went out, met some interesting people and said horrible things about each other, so it was a magical night. Penny replied that she was not innocent but Leonard called her stupid and called him athmatic dumbass. Leonard

admitted he crossed a line and apologized, he even added that his apology was sincere and he was not expecting sex for it. Penny thanked him and apologized too. Leonard thought that maybe they were

not ready to go out as friends, but Penny said that she liked the take-charge and cocky Leonard. Leonard immediately changed his mind and put sex back on the table and said that he could be anything she wanted him to be. Penny shook her head and said good night. When Leonard entered his apartment, he told Sheldon he had a weird night. Sheldon said that he had a great night and he took off the orange blanket that was covering what turned out to be the blue jay's nest with an egg in it. He told Leonard that he was going to be a mommy.

Video
Video:The Big Bang Theory - Preview: The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Quotes
Sheldon: Oh Dear Lord, get away from me you monster!

Penny: Remember, he's more afraid of you than you are of him.

Sheldon: That doesn't help.

Penny: I was talking to the bird.

Sheldon: ''(Triple Knock) Go away bird! (Triple Knock) Go away bird! (Triple Knock) Go away bird!''

Leonard: No, you always picked,and it was always the same, an hour and a half of beach houses in the rain till the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along.

Amy: Guess you gotta have hollow bones to get some sugar around here.

Sheldon: Get back here you stupid bird so I can love you!

Bernadette: ''Oh just pat the bird you big baby! ''

Howard: I'm pushing play, I mean it, yeah, if we don't start soon George Lucas is gonna change it again.

Raj: I really don't get your problem with birds.

Sheldon: ''Wha.. the question you should be asking is what is their problem with me?''

Sheldon: (On the phone) ''I'd like to report a dangerous animal. A blue jay. I'm sorry, this is Animal Control, I don't understand the laughter.''

Sheldon: Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.

Sheldon: ''Age 7. A bloodthirsty chicken chases me up a tree. Age 12. A magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth, Age 16. A parrot in a pet store calls me "fat ass". Need I go on?''

Raj: Yes, please, this is way better than the movie!

Howard: I have a Master's Degree from MIT...

Sheldon: Yeah, but you got a can-do attitude, and that's what's important.

Raj: That is one tough birdie.