The Stag Convergence

"The Stag Convergence" is the twenty-second episode of the fifth season of the sitcom The Big Bang Theory. This episode first aired on Thursday, April 26, 2012.

Summary
At Howard's bachelor party, a drunken Raj reveals a little too much about Howard's past sexual encounters, causing Bernadette to reconsider marrying him after she finds all the toasts on YouTube.

Extended Plot
At the Caltech cafeteria, Sheldon is musing while eating lunch and asks which life-form the guys would want to merge with. Raj wants to join a  to have the long graceful neck he always wanted. Leonard suggests a for the height and genital size. Howard likes the idea of merging with a to become  a "kanga-" that can dunk s. Sheldon prefers s, (a combination of  and ) so that he can be three types of organisms in one. Raj then switches the topic and asks about Howard's bachelor party. Howard mentions that he promised Bernadette no s. Raj and Sheldon want to take a train trip through.

At the apartment building, while Penny is walking up the stairs with Leonard, she tells him that she won't worry about him at the party since he never does anything crazy. She asks him what the craziest thing he had ever done with a woman is and that when they had sex in the ocean it doesn't count. Amy is filming the girls making wedding party gifts and asking Bernadette what their first married  going to be. Penny tells Amy to start asking other bridal party questions, which takes all the fun out of it for Amy. At the bachelor party, Sheldon has a couple of words with Wil Wheaton on being Howard’s friend. Stuart tries borrowing some money from Leonard to pay for the evening as Howard and Raj arrive. As the toasts begin, most of Sheldon's jokes fall flat, though he does give Howard a "double bazinga" and wishes him good luck. Leonard tells everyone he has had sex in the ocean and he can do crazy things. Stuart tells Howard that he has everything and that he is very unhappy living in the back of the comic book store. Barry Kripke just complains that there are no strippers. Raj tells everyone how Howard is his best friend, that when he came to that he was very lonely, but after finding Howard, he realized they could be lonely together. He finishes up with the stories about Howard losing his  to his, having with a heavy  girl at  and Leonard and Raj paying for a Jewish role-playing prostitute in  (to cheer him up after he was dumped by Leslie Winkle). Wil Wheaton records it all and uploads it onto the internet. Bernadette picks Howard and Raj up since they are drunk and is mad at both of them after seeing the video. She wonders how she can marry a man that she doesn't seem to know. The girls turn out not to be much help to her. Amy, for instance, suggests she has sex with a cousin to get even with Howard. Realizing Penny set them up while knowing Howard's speckled past, she asks Penny why she did so. Penny's response is insensitive because she didn't think their relationship would go further than meeting his mother or sleeping together, since the signs were there. Bernadette storms out crying. At first Howard keeps calling her and can't get any good advice about women from his friends. He shows up and gives Penny a message that he was sorry, that he also doesn't like the man he used to be and that the man Bernadette knows is who he is because of her. Penny gushes that that was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard and that it came from Howard of all people. Bernadette hears him and tells him that the wedding is not off, though she is still quite angry with him. They all end up in a which Amy finds "hot".

Later, Leonard meets Penny in the laundry room and tells her that they are going to get crazy and have sex on one of the machines. Penny declines and tells him to help her fold her sheets. He agrees and says that folding sheets in his is pretty crazy too.

Critics

 * The TV Critic: "The Howard-Bernadette story was surprisingly simple, effective and believable. We know that Howard had a sleazy past of hitting on women relentlessly and I had just assumed that Bernadette was aware of that. But instead the writing plausibly portrayed her as seeing only the light side of him and not the grimy one...This wasn't a particularly interesting episode until the end where things wrapped up nicely. However it does continue the wedding story line which hopefully will provide for an interesting season finale."
 * The A.V. Club gave this episode a C
 * IMDb user reviews

Trivia

 * This episode is similar to season 4's "The Hot Troll Deviation", as Bernadette is disgusted by Howard and the two have to reconcile. Bernadette was forthcoming about a previous relationship, specifically with Glenn, in "The Love Car Displacement", but Howard never spoke about some of his relationships, including in "The Hot Troll Deviation", hence the recurrence here.
 * Sheldon refers to Howard as a "good friend," an upgrade from "The Bozeman Reaction" where he referred to him as "a treasured acquaintance".
 * Second time Penny sees a softer side to Howard, with the first time being in "The Killer Robot Instability". She also acknowledged that he's a good guy in "The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary", wherein she was hesitant to introduce Howard to Bernadette.
 * Penny calls the guys the, a reference to the characters in . This statement may also be a reference to Howard and Raj referring to themselves as "lost boys" in "The Gothowitz Deviation" where they were dressed Gothic and "of the night", most likely referring to the 1987 film  about vampires.
 * Raj drinks a again. The last time he drank one was during season 4's "The Herb Garden Germination", and almost ordered one in season 2's "The Hofstadter Isotope". He was first introduced to them in season 1's "The Grasshopper Experiment".
 * Raj says, "This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper." In "The Love Car Displacement", he says, "these s are kicking my little brown ass."
 * Sheldon says, "If I’m to participate in the that is the, then I must embrace all its components, including , s, and yes, ." Sheldon previously had an alcoholic drink in "The Grasshopper Experiment" (without his knowledge), "The Pants Alternative", and "The Toast Derivation" (spitting it out). Sheldon would also later drink alcohol in "The Thanksgiving Decoupling".
 * Barry Kripke previously met Stuart in "The Toast Derivation". On the other hand, Kripke, a Star Trek fan as seen in "The Rothman Disintegration", first meets Wil Wheaton in this episode.
 * Bernadette's apartment number is 306. We see that she has a Siemens Gigaset C300A phone in her apartment.
 * Sheldon asks, "If you could merge with another species, what species would you pick and why?" Raj states "I'd pick  because, uh, the resulting hybrid would have the advanced industrial civilization of a human and the long graceful neck I’ve always dreamed of having." Leonard responds, ", but mostly just for the height. A little bit for the genital girth." Howard answers, "--uh, I’d be a Kanga-Jew. The first of my people to dunk a basketball." Leonard adds, "Also instead of just living in your mother's house, you could actually live inside her body." Sheldon then says, "Clever, but also wrong. No, the best organism for human beings to merge with is the itself. That way, you’d be human,, and . Triple threat. Like three-." In "The Weekend Vortex", Penny makes animal references regarding Leonard and Sheldon after Leonard mentions being , "Sorry, . Your weird friend  is here." She also says Sheldon looks like a giant  in "The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem", later repeated by Leonard in "The Justice League Recombination", and Leonard revealed a doctoral candidate  he looks like a giant  in "The Thespian Catalyst". Meanwhile, Leonard said of Sheldon, "It's like living with a ," in "The Infestation Hypothesis". Additionally, in "The Psychic Vortex", Howard refers to Leonard and himself as horses: "These s have been saddled." Amy, in "The Date Night Variable", calls Sheldon a sexy praying mantis and says that they devour their mates. In "The Tenure Turbulence", Howard calls Leonard, Sheldon, and Raj s and mockingly impersonates one.
 * When the guys are discussing the animals they want to be fused with, Howard and Raj happen to be dressed in clothing with colors matched with the animals they answered; Raj is wearing white for swan while Howard is wearing brown for kangaroo.
 * Howard reveals that he lost his virginity to his second cousin in season 3's "The Adhesive Duck Deficiency". His tryst with the "Jewish hooker" in Las Vegas occurred in "The Vegas Renormalization".
 * Howard says that he would want to merge with a kangaroo to be the first of his people to dunk a basketball. dunked a basketball in an NBA game on February 28, 2011.
 * Embarrassing YouTube videos have factored into past episodes: Leonard and Sheldon's fight in season 1's "The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization," Kripke falling victim to Sheldon's foam prank in season 3's "The Vengeance Formulation" and Sheldon's drunken in season 3's "The Pants Alternative". Leonard similarly put embarrassing information about Howard on  in "The Gorilla Experiment".
 * Captain Sweatpants appears as a guest at Howard's bachelor party.
 * An extra cast member at the bachelor party that who looks like a small Todd Zarnecki, who stole Sheldon's virtual World of Warcraft stuff, but it is actually, the world's greatest extra. He previously appeared as a member of Wil Wheaton's entourage, alongside Captain Sweatpants and Lonely Larry, in the "The 21-Second Excitation".
 * Stuart mentions that he's 37 years old.

Quotes

 * (The scene of Penny and Amy at the bedroom door of Bernadette and Howard's apartment)
 * Penny: (Please come out, Bernadette. Let’s talk through this.
 * (We hear Bernadette's voice through the bedroom door)
 * Bernadette: (sad and out of vision) No, leave me alone.
 * Amy: Perhaps you should give him a taste of his own medicine. Do you have a cousin who you find attractive?
 * Penny: Amy.
 * Amy: Hey, you introduced him to the sleazebag. I’m just trying to clean up your mess.
 * Howard: (at the door) Oh, hi.
 * Penny: Hey.
 * Howard: I need to talk to Bernadette.
 * Penny: Well, I don’t think she wants to talk to anyone right now.
 * Howard: All right, well, could you at least give her a message?
 * Penny: Yeah, sure, I guess.
 * Howard: Tell her I’m really sorry, and if she doesn’t want to marry me, I get it. But what I really want her to know is the guy that she’s disgusted by, is the guy that I’m disgusted by, too. But that guy doesn’t exist any more, he’s gone, and the reason is because of her. So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.
 * Penny: (in tears of proudness) Oh, my God, Howard. That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. And it came out of you.
 * (Bernadette comes out the bedroom. She is not very happy to see Howard)
 * Bernadette: Howie?
 * Howard: Penny has a message for you.
 * Bernadette: (still sad and very cross) I heard. Your voice, not unlike your mother’s, travels through walls.
 * Howard: Do you want me to go?
 * Bernadette: (with a quiet smile of sadness) No. Come here.
 * (Howard walks to cuddle up with Bernadette for a second. Bernadette still looks crossly at him when the hug they have is finished)
 * Bernadette: (with quiet anger and sadness) I’m still really mad at you.
 * Howard: I get that.
 * Bernadette: (still upset for the final time) Is there anything else about your past I should know?
 * Howard: Couple things, but, you know, most of them happened overseas. I’ll tell you later.
 * Bernadette: Okay.
 * Howard: So, is the wedding still on?
 * Bernadette: (She is so proud)'' Yeah, the wedding’s still on. (They hug)
 * Amy: (laughing) Oh, thank God. I’m still a maid of honour.
 * '(She joins in the hug)
 * Penny: (crying with happiness at the hug) Oh, what the hell.
 * '(She joins into the hug too)
 * Amy: This is kind of hot.
 * (They all continue hugging each other)


 * Sheldon: I wish you could all be inside my head. The conversation is sparkling!


 * Raj: Anyone has any words they'd like to say about the man of the evening?
 * Sheldon: Yeah, I do.
 * (Everybody groans)


 * Sheldon: Howard, I wish you nothing but happiness. Bazinga! I don't! Double-bazinga! I do!


 * Sheldon: Good luck following that.


 * Raj: Anybody else? Huh? No? Okay! It all comes down to me, as the best man. (Stands up) Ooo, this grasshopper's kicking my ass-hopper. Okay, okay. When I first came to this country, I, I didn't know how to behave, or how to dress, or what was cool, I was pretty lonely. But, then I met Howard and suddenly my life changed, because, we could be lonely together. This man became my whole world!
 * Kripke: Yeah, nice speech Francine! (Tucks some cash into his pants)
 * Raj: (Takes out the money) I'm not done but, thank you! I think back, to all the good times we had, like uh, when we went camping, and spent that night telling each other all our secrets.... I told him, I'm addicted to pedicures, and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin. (Everybody laughs)
 * Howard: She was my second cousin.
 * Sheldon: And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually.
 * Raj: Oh, oh yeah, and then there was a time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas and, and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish, and that she wanted his little Kosher pickle. (Everybody laughs again) Of all the Howard-humping-hooker stories, that was my favorite!
 * Howard: (Stands up) Okay, buddy! That's it. Sit down.
 * Raj: Oh, oh, what about that, that tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic Con?
 * Howard: I don't remember. Please sit down.
 * Raj: The only threesome I've ever had in my whole life. And I'm proud to say it was with this man, right here! (Everybody laughs)
 * Howard: Please, shut up.
 * Raj: Oh, oh, don't get me wrong. Nothing happened with me and Howard. There was about, 200 pounds of Sailor Moon between us!
 * Wheaton: (Recording the entire speech with his phone) Oh, internet, this is SO going all over you!
 * Sheldon: (Laughs) Jeepers, I'm drunk! (Clinks his glass with Wheaton's)


 * Penny: So, I hear you and the Lost Boys are having a Bachelor Party tonight.
 * Leonard: Yeah, just going to a restaurant. Get some steaks, some Scotch. You've nothing to worry about.
 * Penny: Why should I worry?
 * Leonard: I don't know, it's a bachelor party. There could be strippers. Won't that make you a little jealous?
 * Penny: Come on Leonard. It's you. What's gonna happen? I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you'd do is avoid eye contact and maybe offer to help her kid with his homework.
 * Leonard: Hey, I am a young man in his sexual prime. Under my conditions, I am capable of this, really crazy stuff.
 * Penny: Really? What is the craziest thing you've ever done with a woman? And the time you and I had sex in the ocean does not count.
 * Leonard: Oh, come on, that's gotta count. That was a really strong undertow, we could've died.
 * Penny: Well, have fun tonight!
 * Leonard: Oh, I will! There is NO telling what might happen.
 * Penny: (Snickers) Yeah, there is.
 * Leonard: You know, there's nothing wrong with helping some woman's kid get through their SATs.


 * (The scene of Bernadette's car)
 * Howard: Thank you for picking us up. There’s a warning, right there, on the scotch bottle. You cannot be operatin’ heavy machinery after you had a snootful of this, laddie!
 * Bernadette: Funny. You boys have a nice time?
 * Howard: Yeah, it was great. And low-key, like I promised. No hanky-panky, no strippers. Just the guys telling jokes.
 * Bernadette: (so cross by this) That’s nice.

Howard: How about you? Did you have a fun night? Yeah, we, uh, made gift bags, had wine, and then went online and saw this.
 * Howard: So, what did you do tonight?
 * Bernadette: Yeah, we, uh, made gift bags, had wine, and then went online and saw this.
 * (Bernadette lifts up her phone and a video plays talking about Howard's previous affairs)
 * Raj: You know, my apartment isn't that far, if you stop now, I can walk home.
 * Bernadette: (She is so cross with Raj) You're not going anywhere, three-way.
 * Howard: Bernadette, listen…
 * Bernadette: (she is now really, really cross with Howard) You lied to me, you said you told me about all the women you've been with, but you never told me about your cousin, the prostitute, or Raj!
 * Raj: Seriously, you don’t even have to stop the car. Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat-roll into the street.
 * Howard: Okay, just to set the record straight, I didn’t hire the prostitute, she was a gift from him. Shame on you, Raj. That is not how we treat women in this country.
 * (Bernadette still continues to get more crosser)
 * Bernadette: Oh, no, you are not blaming him!
 * Raj: Thank you, Bernadette.
 * (Bernadette yells angrily at Raj for the final time)
 * Bernadette: Zip it, pervert!

---


 * (The daytimes scene at Bernadette's apartment where Bernadette (in a sweater and pants) walks sadly up Penny and Amy)
 * Bernadette: (she is so very sad) I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m supposed to marry Howard in a couple of weeks and I’m not sure I even know who the man is any more.
 * Amy: I’m curious what’s bothering you most, the borderline incest, the prostitute or group sex with the girl dressed as the children’s cartoon?
 * (Bernadette is now almost in tears).
 * Penny: Amy, remember when we went over things that would be helpful and things that wouldn’t?
 * Amy: Right. And that was…
 * Penny: Not.
 * Bernadette: (still very sad) When I first met Howard, he seemed so innocent to me, just a sweet little guy who lives with his mother.
 * Penny: Well, if that’s what you like, I’ll take you to the comic book store, the place is full of ’em.
 * Bernadette: (now sadly and crossly) Wait a minute. You set me up with Howard. Did you know about all the creepy stuff he was into?
 * Penny: Well, a little. You hear stuff.
 * (Bernadette puts her coffee mug down in sadness)
 * Bernadette: Why didn’t you tell me
 * Penny: Well, I was gonna, but I didn’t think it would go past the first date. Then, when it did, I thought for sure it wouldn’t go past you meeting his mother. Definitely not past the two of you sleeping together. I mean, the warning signs were there, this is really on you.
 * (Bernadette finally is in tears and she is now crying)
 * Bernadette: My God! I thought you were my friend.
 * (She runs off the couch to the bedroom. Penny sighs and we now hear the bedroom door slamming).
 * Amy: I don’t think that was helpful.
 * (Penny glares crossly at Amy's comment).


 * Kripke: I’ll go. Howard, I’m gonna say something to you that evewybody’s thinking but no one has the couwage to say out woud. When you invite a man to a bachewor pawty, the impwication is, there will be stwippews. Maybe not compwetewy nude, but at weast pasties and G-stwings. That’s not unweasonable.

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