The Zazzy Substitution

The Zazzy Substitution is the third episode of the fourth season of the Big Bang Theory.

Plot Summary
Sheldon and Amy break up after Amy says Sheldon's work is not as important as hers. Sheldon then buys many cats. Leonard becomes worried and calls Sheldon's mother, Mary Cooper. Mary then gets Amy and Sheldon back together.

Expanded Plot
Sheldon and Amy Farrah Fowler are very compatible with each other, as evidenced by how well they can play "Counterfactuals", a game they invented requiring them to know what the other is thinking would be the answer to a question about "an alternate world that differs from ours in one key aspect" (Leonard flunks miserably when he attempts to play this game). Bringing Amy into the group is a source of consternation, as the guys can barely handle Sheldon by himself, let alone with Amy who is his female equivalent. At one lunch, Amy belittles Sheldon's occupation as a theoretical physicist relative to, in her opinion, her more superior occupation of neurobiologist. This leads Sheldon to propose for the "relationship [with Amy to] terminate immediately", much to the delight of the other guys. As a result of the breakup, Sheldon becomes more peculiar than his normal self, and adopts a cat as a substitute for Amy. This one cat quickly grows into a "clowder or a glaring" of 25 cats. This worries Leonard, who calls Sheldon's mother (Laurie Metcalf) to come for help. When she arrives, Mrs. Cooper is shocked, as she never expected this, so she calls Amy to come and help. Amy agrees out of scientific curiosity, because since Mrs. Cooper told her that Sheldon is losing his mind over Amy, as a neurobiologist, Amy wants to see how someone can lose their mind. As Amy, Sheldon, Leonard, and Sheldon's mother sit around the living room, Sheldon's mother employs a technique of reverse psychology which Leonard instantly picks up on, but Sheldon is completely oblivious to. She tells Sheldon that it was a good thing he and Amy broke up because they are completely incompatible. Sheldon is instantly offended, so to prove his mother wrong, he offers Amy to reconcile, which she agrees after a negotiation on the amount of responsibility Sheldon has to accept for the break up (Amy offered 80%, Sheldon countered with 40%, settling at 65%). The episode ends with Sheldon and Amy giving away $20 to anybody willing to adopt a cat.

Guest Cast

 * Laurie Metcalf as Mary Cooper

Quotes
(Amy and Sheldon are playing a game they invented.)

Sheldon: All right, I'm ready for my next question.

Amy (reads from a card): In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets, who wins the second world war?

(Leonard is in the kitchen making a sandwich and suddenly looks on, curious and confused.)

Sheldon (after a short thought): Uganda.

Amy: Defend.

Sheldon: Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses, a Central African Power block is formed, colonising North Africa and Europe. When war, breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino; Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.

(Leonard stares at both of them, still confused.)

Amy: Correct, my turn.

(Leonard shakes his head, and goes back making his sandwich.)

Sheldon (reads from a card): In a world, where a piano is a weapon, not a musical instrument, on what does Scott Joplin play, "The maple leaf rag"?

Amy (thinks for a moment): Tuned bayonets.

Sheldon: Defend.

Amy: Isn't it obvious?

Sheldon: You're right, my apologies.

Leonard: What the hell are you guys playing?

Sheldon (To Leonard): It's a game we invented. It's called "Counterfactuals".

Amy (To Leonard too): We postulate an alternate world that differs from ours in one key aspect and then post questions to each other.

Sheldon (To Leonard again): It's fun for ages 8 to 80, join us.

(Leonard comes into the living room.)

Leonard: Alright, I like a good brain teaser, give it a whirl.

Sheldon (picks up a card): You're in luck, this is an easy one. (Reads from the card) In a world, where mankind is ruled by a giant, intelligent beaver, what food is no longer consumed?

Leonard: Uh, a B.L.T., where the "B" stands for beaver? Ha?

Sheldon: Leonard, be serious, we're playing a game here.

Leonard: (coughs a bit) I can figure this out, lets see, um, well, beavers eat tree bark, the only tree bark I know that humans consume is cinnamon, so I'll say cinnamon.

Sheldon: Incorrect, obviously the answer is cheese Danish.

Leonard: What?

Amy: In a world, ruled by a giant beaver, mankind builds many dams to please the beaver overlord. The low-lying city of Copenhagen is flooded, thousands die, devastated, the Danes never invent their namesake pastry.

(Leonard stares at them, dazed.)

Amy: (To Sheldon) How does one miss that?

(Sheldon gives her a "I don't know" action.)

Leonard: This is ridiculous, you're just making stuff up.

Amy (To Sheldon): Is he always like this when he loses?

Sheldon: Oh, yes, you should have been here for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008.

Leonard (snidely remarks to Sheldon): You bumped the table and you know it.

(Sheldon gives Amy a "you see" action.)

Amy: Perhaps it would be kinder to play a game more suited to his abilities. (To Leonard) We'll close our eyes and count to ten while you hide.

Leonard (starts to leave): I'm going to my room.

Amy: Very good, Leonard, but next time, don't tell us where you're hiding.

(Leonard stares at them and then goes to his room.)

(Leonard, Howard and Raj are at The Cheesecake Factory, waiting for "Shamy".)

Leonard: Did you guys see the paper in American Physics Journal on Supersolids? It's pretty interesting, this guys who working from a hypothesis...

Raj: Uh, Spoiler alert, spoiler alert!

Leonard: What?

Raj: Don't ruin it for me man; I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.

Howard: The potty, what are you, five?

Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?

Howard: Toilet.

Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?

Howard: Oh? And "potty", is OK?

Raj: Well potty's innocent, potty's adorable.

Howard: What do you do on the potty? Wee-Wee?

Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.

(Sheldon and Amy come in.)

Sheldon: Greetings. You all remember Amy Farrah Fowler.

Howard: Hello.

Leonard: Sure, it's nice to see ya.

Amy: Hello.

Sheldon: Sorry we're late.

Amy: I must take responsibility, I had to stop for feminine hygiene supplies.

Leonard and Howard (feeling uneasy): Uh, OK, Oh.

Sheldon: I believe she's experiencing her menses.

Amy: Actually, I'm not. In order to avoid surprises, I wear them all the time.

Leonard and Howard (even more uncomfortable now): Uh, Oh, OK.

(Raj is feeling uncomfortable too and shakes his head in disgust.)

Howard (To Raj): Toilet sounding pretty good now, huh.

(Raj nods, Penny comes in.)

Penny: Hey look, it's Shamy!

Amy: Shamy?

Sheldon: Eh, eh, juvenile amalgamation of our names; Sheldon, Amy; Shamy.

Amy: Oh. (To Penny) I don't like that, don't do that.

Penny: Heh, alrighty, what's new?

Amy: Well, just recently, I learned that you refer to us as Shamy and I don't like that.

(Penny has a weird and confused look.)

Amy: Thank you for asking. (To Sheldon) Why is she not taking our order?

Sheldon: I should have warned you; one has to navigate elaborate, of the social nonsense before one can be fed here.

(Penny looks pissed off.)

Amy: Really? I assumed an establishment called "The Cheesecake Factory " would function more efficiently.

Sheldon: It's how they lure you in, I believe it's called, "Bait and Switch".

(Amy nods in agreement.)

Penny: OK, I'm just gonna walk away, 'cause, I don't wanna be here.

(Penny leaves, without taking the groups' order. All are in short silence.)

Leonard: So this is nice. First time, we've all gotten together to eat.

Amy (To Sheldon): You're right; he's a festival of hum-drum chit-chat.

(Sheldon gives her a "I told you so" look. Leonard gets annoyed.)

Leonard: OK that's all I got, Howard you're up.

Howard (To Amy): Um, tell us about your work, Amy.

Amy (To Howard): I'd doubt you'd understand; Sheldon tells me you only have a Master's degree.

(Howard becomes completely pissed off.)

Howard: Raj, do you have any questions for Amy?

(Raj just shakes his head.)

Amy (To Sheldon): I'm curious as to why we're not eating alone.

Sheldon: They can't function without me; I'm the social glue that holds this little group together. (To the guys) You're welcome.

(The guys are now completely annoyed at Shamy.)

Trivia

 * Sheldon names each of the cats he buys after a famous scientists, other than "Zazzles" which is the name Sheldon gave one of his cats.
 * In this episode Mary Cooper appears for third time.
 * Sheldon mistakingly says that the rebels build the Death Stars, and not the Empire, when it's in fact the other way around.

Contradiction

 * This episode contradicts The Fuzzy Boots Corollary from Season 1, where Leonard mentions that Sheldon can get asthma from cats. However, Sheldon also said that he had a pet cat named "Lucky" as a child (which got run over) which could mean it is only a very very small asthma attack or he sprayed the cats with something.

Title

 * The title comes from the name of one of the cats Sheldon has, which he names, "Zazzles", because he is just, so, "Zazzy". The cats are a substitution for the void left when Amy was no longer a part of Sheldon's life.