The White Asparagus Triangulation

"The White Asparagus Triangulation" is the ninth episode of second season of the   The Big Bang Theory. This episode first aired on November 24, 2008.

Summary
Sheldon believes that Leonard will wreck his relationship with Stephanie like he did with his previous relationships; to prevent this Sheldon, decides to take matters into his own hands.

Extended Plot
Sheldon freaks Penny out when they ascend the stairs together and he tries to have a normal conversation with her using urban slang. Sheldon is concerned that Stephanie is the only girl Leonard has dated that he "finds tolerable" including Penny. Sheldon also requests that Stephanie not see Penny as a sexual rival. Sheldon proposes a scenario where Penny's "hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and progesterone that even Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate." He asks her to suppress her libido to which she remarked that she could think about him.

Leonard and Stephanie are having dinner together which Sheldon is enjoying and keeps interrupting. Sheldon describes her as the new McCoy in their group's Star Trek landing party.

On their next date, Sheldon finds the movie theater that they are at by hacking into Sheldon's computer and checking his movie searches. Then he proceeds to make noises are various places in the theater to find the acoustic sweet spot which happens to be where Leonard and Stephanie sat. He even moving in front of Leonard to get the full THX-feel of the sound in the theatre.

That night Sheldon wakes up Leonard with the disturbing news that he feels that they're losing Stephanie. She does not state that she is in a relationship on her Facebook page and she is throwing digital sheep at another guy. Sheldon feels that Leonard is not running his relationship properly so he says, "Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104, Section A, you are deemed unfit and I am relieving you of command." Leonard gets mad and replies that General Order 104 does not apply because this isn't Star Trek.

After believing that Leonard is losing Stephanie, he runs to Penny for advice. Sheldon asks why her and Leonard's relationship went south, so she gives him the plot to "The Lake House" movie. Sheldon runs to Wolowitz and Koothrappali, but all they give is, in Sheldon's words, either " " or "go easy on the ". Sheldon once again runs to Penny, but she refuses to talk.

Sheldon attempts to prove Leonard's physical superiority to Stephanie during another date by having him open a jar of white. Leonard shatters the jar by accident ending up getting some stitches at the hospital. Wondering why Leonard can't supposedly keep a girl, Sheldon, remarks, "You seem like a perfectly pleasant person. I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you."

Later, Penny announces to Leonard that his status has been changed to "In a relationship". Penny says that his move is bold, Howard thinks that he looks needy and Leonard had never made the change. Sheldon had hacked his Facebook account. At first Leonard yells at Sheldon that he is going to destroy his relationship. All of the sudden, Stephanie has updated her own status to mirror Leonard's. Leonard comments that he now has a girlfriend. Sheldon closes the episode by bragging "If I am permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win."

Quotes
(Leonard left for the movies with Stephanie, leaving Sheldon with a note that he was going to the movies)

Sheldon: If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you, you couldn't have done a better job.

Leonard: Oh, clearly I could have.

Sheldon: So, the only advice you got for me is "apocalyptic genocide" and "Go easy on the cologne."

(After Leonard got stitches from Stephanie)

Sheldon: You seem like a perfectly pleasant person. I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you.

Sheldon: If I am permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win.

Stephanie: Hey! How's my big crybaby?

Leonard: I didn't cry

Stephanie: I'm just teasing you, but yeah you did.

Critics
"The Big Bang Theory is like a state-of-the-art ship being sailed in the wrong direction. The cast is strong, the writing can be excellent and is certainly creative. And yet the show’s priorities are all wrong and they are producing television which is a lot less good than it could be." - The TV Critic's Review

Trivia

 * Sheldon is right that a is not technically a fruit (derived from the  of a plant), but is rather an  (derived from some tissue around the plant's ovary).
 * Sheldon attempts to invoke " General Order 104 Section A" to relieve Leonard of his command of his own relationship with Stephanie. This section has not been clearly spelled out in a Star Trek episode, though the two sections that follow it (B and C) have.
 * Leonard's time periods have become a geometric progression expressible as $$Y=\frac{27 \mbox{days}}{12^n}$$. When substituted in, this shows that Howard's estimation of 20 minutes was correct (22 minutes, 30 seconds).
 * Apparently Leonard frequently uses the password "" which is Superman's real name.