The Hawking Excitation



The Hawking Excitation is the twenty-first episode of the fifth season of the CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory. It aired on 5 April 2012.

Summary
Howard is assisting Stephen Hawking by maintaining his wheelchair while he is lecturing at Caltech. He has every plan to introduce Sheldon to his idol until he insults him again. Sheldon keeps pleading with Howard who does agree to give Stephen Hawking his latest paper on Boson particles, but only if Sheldon does several tasks for him. The first task is to clean his large collection of belt buckles which Sheldon performs flawlessly. Secondly, Sheldon must walk through the Caltech cafeteria in a French maid costume which Bernadette refused to wear. Then Bernadette tells Howard that he is taking advantage of Sheldon until Howard's mother reminds her that she is taking her dress shopping and Bernadette volunteers Sheldon for the job. He ends up having to help squeeze her into a dress in the ladies dressing room. Finally after years of insults Howard wants Sheldon to tell him that he does his job well. Sheldon replies that he has never said that and that it’s his job that is inconsequential. He accepts the backhanded compliment and tells him that Stephen Hawking has had his paper for three days and that he wants to meet him. Professor Hawking tells Sheldon that the paper is very interesting, though that he made a arithmetic mistake. Once Sheldon finds it and realized what he did in front of his idol, he faints

Title Reference
The title is derived from the excitement that Sheldon feels when Howard gets to work with Stephen Hawking, opening up the opportunity for him to meet his idol.

Quotes
Sheldon: He's a famous physicist.

Penny: ''Hang on, I know. He's the wheelchair-dude who invented time.''

Sheldon: Close enough.

Raj: (to Howard) You can make him do anything you want.

Raj: Oh boy, well, Sheldon's going to freak out!

Leonard: Yeah, he worships Hawking.

Howard: I was actually thinking of bringing him along when I go over there so he can meet the great man.

Raj: It's really nice of you, Howard.

Howard: It's no big deal.

Leonard:'' Boy, a restraining order from Stephen Hawking. It'll look so nice next to the ones he's already got from Leonard Nimoy, Carl Sagan, and Stan Lee.''

(Sheldon comes over to the table)

Sheldon'': Leonard, do you recall when I said that I was going to revolutionize humanity's understanding of the Higgs boson particle and you said "Sheldon, it's 2 a.m., get out of my bedroom!"? ''

Leonard'': Like it was 10 hours ago. What about it?''

Sheldon:'' Well, I believe I've done it. And I'm only saying "believe" to sound modest, because Sweet-Sam-Houston, I did it.''

Leonard: Really?

Raj: That's incredible! (Takes out a pen from his pocket)'' Oh, here! Breakout the math.''

Sheldon:'' Oh, okay, let me see this. (Starts writing) Alright! So, this particle here, is the boson, moving forward in time. Now, I was thinking... (pauses) Howard, you go ahead and eat. This isn't going to make any sense to you.''

Howard: Sheldon, I have a working understanding of Physics.

Sheldon: ''Yeah, good for you! Don't stop working on it.''

Raj: You still going to tell him about you-know-who?

Howard: Yep.

Leonard: Still going to introduce him?

Howard: Not on your life!

Sheldon:'' Alright! What would you like me to do first?''

Howard: I thought I'd start you off by polishing my belt buckles.

Sheldon:'' Ooh, by all means. When I was a boy, I would polish my mee-maw's silver, then, she would entertain me with stories about growing up in Oklahoma. She's an interesting woman. You know, she once killed a prairie dog with a gravvy boat. ''

Howard: ''That's nice. ''(Pours out all his belt buckles from inside a container)

Sheldon: That's a lot of belt buckles.

Howard:'' Funny thing is I only have one belt. Anyway, I'll let you get started. Oh, by the way, the little marks that look like water-spots... I tend to stand too close to the urinal so, what you're seeing there is splashback''.

Sheldon: ''You make sissy on new belt buckles? Mee-maw's forks never have that''.

Howard: ''Here is a black light, to check them. And for your own peace of mind, you might not wanna shine that around the rest of the room.''

(Sheldon has just finished polishing Howard's belt buckles)

Howard: Sheldon these look great! They're like magnificent little crowns that hang over my magnificent little jewels. How did you get them so shiny?

Sheldon: Oh, I, uh, buffed them with Turtle Wax. The man down at Pet Boys says that from now on, the urine should just beat up and roll right off.

Howard: Way to go the extra mile, you're mee-maw would be proud.

Sheldon: My mee-maw must never know of this. Now, will you give Professor Hawking my paper?

Howard: Oh, my dear boy, no. OK. (Howard gives Sheldon a white box) Next, this is a sexy french maid costume I brought for Bernadette, I thought it might spice things up and get her to dust my room at the same time. I was wrong and really wrong.

Sheldon: And you want me to return it for you.

Howard: No, no, no, mon petit cherie.

(The next day Sheldon walks through the cafeteria in the skanky maid costume and everyone suddenly stares at him)

Sheldon: What are you all staring at? D'you never seen a man try to get a meeting with Steven Hawking before?

(Sheldon storms out and the three guys burst into fights of laughter)

Howard: Sheldon, you're a condescending jerk; why would I do anything nice for you?

Sheldon: Um, to go to Jewish heaven?

Howard: Jews don't have heaven.

Sheldon: Well, to avoid Jewish hell?

Howard: ''Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell!''



Sheldon: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.

Stephen Hawking: I know.

Sheldon: I want to thank you for taking time to see me.

Stephen: My pleasure. I enjoyed reading your paper very much. You clearly have a brilliant mind.

Sheldon: I know.

Stephen: Your thesis that the Higgs boson is a black hole accelerating backwards through time is fascinating.

Sheldon: Thank you. It just... it came to me one morning in the shower.

Stephen: That's nice. Too bad it's wrong.

Sheldon: What do you mean wrong?

Stephen: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite the boner.

Sheldon: No, no... that can't be right. I... I don't make arithmetic mistakes.

Stephen: Are you saying I do?

Sheldon: Oh, no, no, of course not. It just, I was thinking... Oh, gosh, golly. I made a boo-boo, and I gave it to Stephen Hawking.

[Sheldon faints]

Stephen: Great, another fainter.

Trivia

 * This is the first episode to feature Stephen Hawking as a guest star, though he was mentioned in the episodes Pilot, The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis, and The Agreement Dissection.
 * On Dec. 22, 2011, a new job listing actually was posted to Hawking's website, seeking an assistant (like Howard) to help develop and maintain his electronic speech system as well as help him operate his wheelchair. According to the website's description, the ideal candidate must work well under pressure, and must be knowledgeable about computers and electronics. (See Stephen Hawking is Hiring: Seeks Assistant to Help Him Speak and Stephen Hawking Advertises For Wheelchair Assistant.)
 * In The Agreement Dissection, Howard recalls that he said to Sheldon (in Stephen Hawking's voice), "I wish to discuss your theories of black holes. Meet me at the Randy’s Donut by the airport at 2:00 a.m." In the episode of this article, Hawking tells Sheldon, "Your thesis that the Higgs boson is a black hole accelerating backwards through time is fascinating."
 * Stephen Hawking's original singularity theorems from the 1960s and ’70s were written up on the whiteboards on set.
 * Sheldon believes that Stephen Hawking is "perhaps [his] only intellectual equal."
 * Leonard believes Sheldon will receive a restraining order from Stephen Hawking, like the ones from Leonard Nimoy, Carl Sagan, and Stan Lee. In The Excelsior Acquisition, Sheldon refers to the legal documents from Nimoy and Lee, while, in The Vacation Solution, Sheldon reveals the one from Sagan.
 * Strangely, Leonard and Raj never ask to meet Hawking, but are excited to receive gears and springs from his wheelchair.
 * Raj is the "group historian."
 * The Princess Leia vs Jabba the Hutt Polystone Diorama in Howard's room was also seen at the comic book store in The Russian Rocket Reaction.
 * Amy did not appear in this episode, making it the first time in Season 5 that Amy did not appear for two episodes back to back.
 * Mrs. Wolowitz speaks for the second time in a normal tone of voice, rather than her usual bellowing register.

Video
The Hawking Excitation Sneak Peek 2

350px|The Hawking Excitation Sneak Peek350px|The Hawking Excitation Promo

Source

 * Taping report kindly provided by Roxanne

{C}