The Roommate Agreement



 Agreement was written by Eric Fishon and was signed by Suzanne Noel when they became roommates. This agreement can be edited with both parties agreeing and additional riders may follow.

Suzanne must not w/ her edits make the agreement more one sided than another so that the balance is more towards one person's liking, enjoyment, or benifit.

Most of all this agremeent is made in Love, Humor, Affection, & understanding for both parties to WIN. Any alteration or addition to this agreement must be done by both parties. This agreement can be made suitable for framing, posting indoors on premise, or in desk draw to be taken out upon request.

Articles of the Roommate Agreement

 * Skynet Clause: Misty will help Dan destroy an artifical intelligence that Dan has created that is taking over the earth.
 * Body Snatchers Clause: Misty will help Dan destroy someone who they know that has been replaced by an alien pod.
 * Godzilla Clause: Presumably, Misty will help Dan destroy a monster that has destroyed Tokyo.
 * Article 1: Dan can call for an emergency meeting. All aguements are settled by Dan.
 * Cohabitation Rider:
 * Provisions that are activated when the term of the Rider is fulfilled in regards to food/beverage:
 * In the refrigerator as opposed to them having two separate shelves and one communal shelf, the three of them now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal.
 * Apartment vacuuming shall be increased from none to two times a week by the roomate to accommodate the fact that I rarely vacauum and you have fuzzy babies..
 * The bathroom schedule shall be to accomadate the person who wakes up first.
 * Misty will bring home at least 1x per week Dan's favorite take out on day determined mutual by both parties
 * Misty will make cookies at least 1x per month
 * During the winter time homeade soup will be made and not talked about. This soup will not be numbered but will not be less than 5 for the season of winter.
 * 2 bottles of Misty's favorite wine will be made available at all times in home
 * Dan's beer and/or alcohol choice to be stocked at all times
 * Misty will cook dinner a mutual number of times to be determined per week.
 * Each person gets to pick a place to go out to eat 1x per week, if desired, on alternate weeks as deemed budgetable
 * Terms that must be met to activate the Rider: The roommate shall be deemed "living with" Dan when she has made deciisons in the home to renovate, change, or make anything inside such home as different then a bachelor would want.
 * The roommate also has to sign that she does not now, nor does she intend to play percussive or brass instruments.
 * Said roommate also states that she doesnt plan to now or at a later time adopt, purchase, rescue, or borrow another feline animal better known as a cat
 * VS Clause: If a Victorias Secret purchase is done, such purchase will be shown on person within one week of purchase, unless bought for a special occasion, when such occasion, cannot be more than 1 month away.
 * Time travel Clause: If one of the roommates ever invents time travel, the first stop has to aim exactly five seconds after this clause of the Roommate Agreement was signed.
 * Article 2: Roommates shall give each other 12 hours notice of impending coitus.
 * Article 3:Misty must assist Dan if he ever becomes a robot. (oil my joint)
 * Zombie Clause: If Dan turns into a zombie, Misty cannot kill him. She will teach him to dance like in  the Thrilller video.
 * Friendship Clause: Misty will take Dan to Victoria Secret show should she ever be invited.
 * Temperature Clause: The thermostat must be kept at 76 degrees at all times.
 * Weekend Clause: Fridays are reserved for Doreen but Misty may come along if Doreen doesn't object.
 * Article 4: The right to bathroom privacy is suspended in the event of hostile takeover.
 * Showering Clause: The occupancy of the shower is deemed to be one, unless being attacked by water-soluble aliens or a need to not abuse water and save the earth.
 * Section A: Speaks about the right to enter the bathroom in emergency situations.
 * Addendum B: When Misty showers second, any and all measures shall be taken to ensure an adequate supply of hot water.
 * Thursday Clause: Thursday night is whatever Dan wants night
 * Takeout Clause: Selection of a new takeout restaurant requires a public hearing and a 60-day comment period.
 * Article 5: Misty and Dan both have the option of nullifying their roommate agreement, having no responsibilities or obligations toward each other, other than paying rent and sharing utilities.
 * Anniversary Addendum: Once a year, Misty and Dan take one day to celebrate the contributions Dan gives to Misty's life, both real and imaginary. Dan does not get breakfast in bed, the right to sit in Misty's bed, the only thing that Dan gets is a thank-you card. A card that Misty has to spend time in the card store, preferably Hallmark, to get with writting in such card that might be called romantic. This day is called "Dan's Day."
 * Roommate Review: Once a year (presumably), Dan assesses Misty's worthiness as a roommate.
 * Article 6: The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground

Unspecified Clauses

 * Dan has control of the thermostat in the apartment, which is set at 76 degrees.
 * Misty has the right to allocate fifty percent of the cubic footage of the common areas in the apartment, but only if Dan is notified in advance by e-mail.
 * No "hootennanies", sing-alongs, raucous laughter, clinking of glasses, celebratory gunfire, or barbershop quartets after 10.p.m.

Friendship Rider
Appendix C - Future commitments
 * In the event one person is ever invited to visit the White House, a foreign country, a caribean island, or the US Open Tennis or Stanley Cup they shall invite the other friend to accompany them.
 * If one person gets super powers, he/she will name the other one as their sidekick.
 * If one person is bitten by a zombie, the other can't kill them. The will teach them the Thriller dance
 * If one person wins an award such as an Emmy, Grammy, CMT, MVP, or other such high honor he/she must mention the other person in there speech.
 * If one person gets invited to a barbeque, he/she will take the other to accompany him.
 * Suzanne will not adopt, borrow, hold, babysit, take ownership, or otherwise have anything to do with "Chickens".

Breaks of the Roommate Agreement

 * Any breaks of the roomate agreement can be valued by a third party who isi not living on the premises or has a favorable opinion in one direction more than another. An example of such person, who doesnt really care about anything, or anyone, could be Mike.

Clauses mentioned or made up by Suzanne

 * Unnamed Clause: No hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after 10 p.m. Eric shall not sing in the shower when Suzane is in the bathroom. Also will keep his workout grunting to a minimum

Trivia

 * Dan technically doesnt agree to ANY agreement what so ever as the only agreement he enters into is the game of Dan Land, where like candy land, its run by the person in control who makes there own rules, and changes them when conveniant. 

Controversial Clauses
Eric states that the Roommate Agreement contains a specific clause that all ties will be settled by him. Suzanne affirmed this, but underlined that he didn’t sign that clause, while Eric argues that while Suzanne disagreed, She agreed, and since all ties are settled by Eric, the tie clause is made valid. Technically, Suzanne is right, as the rule was not in effect while they were arguing over the clause, so it could not apply in that situation.